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“Do they like it?” Cari asks, smiling as she watches her.
“They love it!” Brooke beams.
“Then it’s a good thing you brought them.” Cari’s eyes light up as she interacts with my daughter. She’s so good with Brooke.
Too good.
She’s great as my assistant and I’m going to struggle without her. The thought shakes me.
Brooke faces the water, lost in her world, holding her dolls up toward the sea. Cari undoes the top buttons of her shirt, and I can’t stop staring. She’s overheated—she must be—but she’s keeping her clothes on.
Good. I’m not sure I could handle seeing her in anything more revealing. I shift in my seat, glancing down at my own outfit—a light linen shirt and swim shorts. Perfect for a day like this. Cari walks up to me, hovering close as if she has something on her mind.
“You don’t have to include me in every outing when it’s just you and Brooke. I’m sure she would love to have you to herself,” she says in a lowered voice while Brooke is busy playing with her dolls.
“Brooke insisted. Glad you came, though?” I ask, wishing she could look happier about being here. She’s still sour about last night. And the night before. I’ve been such a jerk and we are only a couple of days into the trip. But I’ve apologized. What more does she want from me?
“I guess.”
Not the answer I wanted.
“I appreciate you being here,” I try again. “I’m sorry about … just sorry for …” For being a jerk on two consecutive days. It’s hard to say it, in the light of day. Cari’s right. Apologies don’t come easy to me, and I’ve already said sorry twice. “It won’t happen again,” I say. Keeping it vague. “But Brooke loves having you around.” I try to make a joke. “Maybe I should just hire you as her nanny instead of my PA.”Now there’s a thought.
Cari’s face hardens. “You’ll need to be more open with the next nanny. Nannies aren’t replacements for mothers. It’s still a job, no matter how much they care for her. They have lives outside of this.”
There’s a bite in her tone, but she’s right. I feel like she's giving me advice I need to take. ?I’ve gone through so many nannies since Brooke’s mother passed. None of them stayed long enough to make a real connection. Cari would be perfect for the role, but this isn’t what she wants to do, and I can understand that.
If only I could clone her. She’s so good at everything. I look at people like Alicia, and while they have brains, they lack so many other important qualities. Cari can run rings around most women.
“I might need you to do the interviews for me,” I say, jokingly, though a part of me means it. She would be able to weed out and find the perfect nanny for Brooke.
A crease lines her brow. “This trip was included,” she reminds me. “I’m still working while I’m here and I’m leaving a week after we get back, remember.”
“I remember.” How could I fucking forget? I only have a week in New York to get my act together. Then life begins without Cari, and it’s going to be hard. My eyes burn into hers. “I need to find someone as good as you, as amazing as you, and it’s not going to be easy.”
She moves away and slips into the seat opposite me. “You’ll have to make it happen. I’m sure you’ll be more than capable of finding someone you can rely on.”
“Thank you for agreeing to come. This,” I gesture around the yacht, “it’s the closest I’ve come to feeling like a family again. I know we’re not,” I add quickly, “but days like this are rare for us. Brooke is usually only with a nanny, and her world has been … fractured. I grew up without a mother. I know what that’s like.”
Cari’s eyes soften, turning glassy like she’s going to say something, but before she can, Brooke’s excited voice interrupts us.
“Daddy! Cari! Come look!”
We head over to where Brooke’s pointing, and my breath catches. Dolphins leap through the air, dancing in and out of the water with effortless grace. Brooke squeals in delight, and I grin at her joy.
Cari’s beaming too, her shirt now fully unbuttoned, hanging open to reveal a tankini underneath. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Thank God she’s not in that bikini.
The dolphins follow us for a while before disappearing, and we sail on toward a hidden cove. The water here is impossibly blue, almost fluorescent, and I order the captain to stop the moment I see it.
Brooke bounces on her feet. “Can we go in the water, Daddy?”
“Of course. Let’s go.” I toss my shirt aside and dive in, the water warm and inviting as it envelops me. Brooke jumps in right after me, darting around like a little fish.
“Come on, Cari!” she calls.
Cari shakes her head, staying on the deck. She’s obviously not comfortable stripping down any more than she already has.
Brooke splashes me, and I splash her back. We play, laughing as the sun beats down on us, the day slipping away in the warm embrace of the water. Brooke is an amazing swimmer, flitting away from me only to be scooped back up in a fit of giggles. Her tiny fingers dig under my armpits, tickling me until I’m yelping and letting her go.