Page 41 of Jett

“Jett. He’s drunk and in his tub. I can’t get him up. I ... I don’t think he’d want the other brothers to see him like that.”

He runs his huge, meaty paws up and down my arms, warming me, no doubt wondering why I’m wet, and flush-faced. “Ivy’s in my room. Why don’t you go and sit with her?”

I nod and walk away, blind and stupid with heartache.

When I find Ivy and tell her all the sordid details of this train wreck, she pours me a shot of bourbon and sits beside me. “Who else knows?”

“About my husband, or that I’m a traitorous whore?”

“Honey, if you’re a whore, then there really is no hope for a recovering-junkie-club-slut like me.”

“I’m sorry ... I didn’t mean—”

“Relax, Raine. That word stopped bothering me a long time ago. I did what I had to in order to survive, and so did you.”

I frown and meet her gaze. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re married to a man who tried to take the easy way out and who failed, and you’ve been left with the burden of his care for seven years. A whore would have walked and wiped her hands clean. You stuck by him, why?”

“Because I love him.”

“But he didn’t love you enough to stay.”

Her words hit me like an anvil to the heart. “I made a promise.”

“So did he.” She flops on the loveseat beside me. “Look, honey, I’m not saying you should fuck Jett. I’m not telling you to do anything, and I’m the last person you should take advice from, but you’re human. You make mistakes like the rest of us, but deep down, I think you also know that humans need to be touched, loved, and cherished. Your husband must have been going through some shit to want that kind of out. Even with all my past baggage, it’s not something I’ve ever seriously entertained. All I know is, you can’t live your life for your husband who wasn’t willing to live for you.”

Is she right? Does Joshua’s selfishness mean that I’m exempt from remaining faithful? I don’t think so, but it does ease my guilt a little.

God. I may not be a biker, I may not have broken the law, or held a gun to anyone’s temple, but I am surely headed to hell with the rest of the Saints. I just hope the ride is worth it in the end.

RAINE

THREE WEEKS AFTER JETTlaid his wife to rest, I’m cleaning his office when the sound of jangling keys from the doorway startles me. Jett leans against the doorjamb, the low lamplight glinting off the silver in his hands. I press my hand to my chest and catch my breath. “You just gave me a heart attack.”

“You’re in my office.”