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"No. You just think you feel that, but it's only fucking pity—-"
"I'd have to be the biggest idiot to pity someone as arrogant as you..." And then she only looked at him, letting her doe eyes say the rest.
And since I'm no idiot...
I'm not here because I pity you..
I'm here because I love you.
The professor wanted to slam his head against a wall. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.Even without her saying a single thing, her dark eyes spoke loud and clear, and despite knowing that he was about to commit a mortal sin by letting her stay -
Let me have Heaven here, and Hell can have my soul later.
Diana held her breath when the professor suddenly spoke. "I wouldn't know about being arrogant..."
Their eyes met.
"But if you think that and yet you still say you love me..."
And suddenly everything became clear.
"Then I suppose youarean idiot."
Oh God.
A laugh escaped her, and once again it turned into a sob halfway, and then it kept on coming, laughter and sobs mixed into one. Because with him saying those words - with himjoking -with him looking at her like he also knew - likehis soul also found its mate -Diana knew she had won.
Theyhad won.
She threw herself at him, still crying and laughing,and it was like coming back home as his arms locked around her shaking body.
Her tears wet his shirt.I really love you, Professor.
His arms tightened around her.I know. And more fool you.
Her body shook with laughter, and so did his, because even if words hadn't been spoken, their souls heard each other just fine.
With Diana once again in his arms, the professor carried her to the living room, but as soon as they were both on the couch, she came crawling to his lap, arms around his neck and her head lying against his chest.
The strangest feeling crept upon him, something unfamiliar and powerful, and it took him a while to realize the feelings were nothing but...peace.
Because she was with him again, he was at peace, and while his own feelings were probably just a fraction of what Diana's beloved Saint Augustine had felt upon finding his perfect dwelling in God's love, Matthijs could think no better than the sainted bishop's words to describe how he felt—-
Our heart is restless, until it repose in Thee.
He closed his eyes.
That was exactly how he felt.
His heart had been restless until it rested in Diana, and it was just too fucking bad he had not met her sooner, at a time when he had been a better man, and his heart had been purer, and his body uncontaminated.
The thought reminded the professor of the many things he was still honor-bound to say, but when he tried to pull away, he felt her sweet, gentle resistance, with the faint shake of her head and the way her arms tightened around him.
In spite of what she now knew, she still didn't want to be apart, and the realization was as humbling as it was painful.
Tipping her chin up, he found her eyes wet and swollen, but also soft with love.
For him.