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And when you managed to escape the hospital...when I saw the blood on the ground and knew that you didn’t give a shit if you had to die because you wanted to get to Damen so badly—-
God help me, Mairi, but a part of me rejoiced in it. I’m sorry that I forced you to do something so drastic, but I don’t want to lie to you anymore. When you did that, I knew that Paige would do the same thing for me.
Even if she has to fuck someone and pretend to love another man, Paige would do anything to survive. You made me believe that she would do everything to stay alive and wait for me until I killed every damn man who dared hurt her.
And now you know the kind of man that I am.
I am no better than Damen Leventis.
I’m a lot worse because I don’t care about how many people would bleed just so I can be with Paige again.
It’s because of you that hope burns inside me again, and it’s the kind of debt I can’t ever hope to repay. Even so, I want you to know – whatever you want me to do for you, Mairi – I will do it.
Mairi’s breath was dragged out of her as she slowly closed the Word file and deleted it, knowing that this kind of letter could never be read by anyone else – not even Damen. It was too raw and personal, the love that Paige and Drake shared something that couldn’t be shared with just anyone else.
For long moments, she remained on her dresser, sobbing in her seat. She cried for Paige, for Drake, for Damen...but most of all, she cried for herself. Love had made her unable to see the forest for the trees, but she did now.
Thanks to Drake’s letter, she knew now that—-
She inhaled deeply, but still another racking sob escaped Mairi.
She loved Damen to the point of madness, and she would never be able to stop herself from doing so. She’d never stop loving him unless someone else was there to stop her.
It became clear to her what she had to do then, and Mairi forced herself to move even if her body felt like it had turned into stone. She descended the stairs and was in the hallway when Drake came out of the study, immediately stilling at the sight of her.
“Mairi?”
She opened her mouth to speak, but the words didn’t come out, a part of her afraid to speak because if she did say the words, everything would change. Forever.
Damen came out almost immediately after, and he, too, stilled in shock at the sight of her. The sight of Damen, dressed still in the suit he wore for their wedding, pushed Mairi further to the edge. Oh God, he would always be the most beautiful man in her eyes. The one man she would always love – butshouldn’t.
When Damen asked Mairi what was wrong and Drake spoke at the same time, voicing his concern, Mairi found herself close to being hysterical. Looking at both of them, she only just saw the uncanny similarities between them, both of them tall, dark, and handsome, Drake with his All-American boy-next-door looks and Damen with the refined looks of a classical statue.
It should be so easy for her to replace one with the other, but it wasn’t.
One of them represented the chains that bound her heart, and the other held the key to free her from the self-destructive love she suffered from.
She forced her gaze away from Damen, and her heart broke a little when Damen sucked in his breath audibly at the seeming snub. And because she loved him so much, she was immediately tempted to rush to his side, to throw her arms around him and tell Damen that she would always love him.
But she didn’t.
Be strong, Mairi.
Be strong for those who love you.
Haltingly, she asked Drake, “Do you mean it?”
A frown marred Drake’s forehead at how fragile Mairi appeared right now. Keeping his voice gentle, he asked, “Do I mean what, Mairi?”
“Did you mean what you promised? That you would do anything to make up for what you did to me?”
Ah.
She had read his letter then.
He said simply, “Yes.”
A single tear slipped down her cheek at Drake’s answer. That one word granted Mairi the chance to keep her from losing herself completely in Damen. It also came with the knowledge that she would hurt Damen with it, and that she never wanted to do.