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My jaw dropped open and alarm shot through me as I fully realized what he was driving at. “As avampire?”

He shrugged, his expression going harder. “Danny, if you don’t know by now, you haven’t been paying attention. I would do anything for you.”

“By becoming something that you—”

“I’m in love with you,” he growled. “It’s not just words.”

“Michael,no. I’m not giving you my blood—not right now. Not for this.” I took another step back, the future blooming before me in horrid, vivid detail. Michael loathing himself every time he sank his fangs into a beating pulse. Never growing old. Never having his white picket fence. Always possessing an inhuman hunger that ran so deep that it felt like ground glass cutting him to ribbons. “Michael,no. You don’t ever have to change for me.”

When he opened his mouth to argue, I shook my head, silencing him with a look.

“No. Don’t you get it? If you died and came back, if you hated yourself afterward, it would be completely my fault. I couldn’t ever do that to you. I love you too much to condemn you to an eternity hating yourself.”

“Don’tyouget it? It would beworthit,” Michael whispered, his expression naked and more stricken than I had ever seen it, causing my throat to close up painfully. I could feel the depths of his fear for me, that I might someday wind up alone for an eternity. I could feel his awareness, that I was right there, feeling what he felt alongside him. He nodded, his gaze searching mine. “And it would be worth hating myself a little, if it meant I got to love you for forever, Danny. It’s you and me. It always has been. I will always choose you.”

I could sense how much he thought he meant it. But I knew from the bond that he wasn’t thinking it through, either. Not really. He was too focused on the horrible notion that he would end up being just like my father and my brother, in the end. That he would leave me behind. That if he died, he would be abandoning me. He didn’t stop to consider everything he’d be giving up. He wouldn’t be human anymore. Instead, he would become somethingother, always on the outside edges of the world, peering in from the darkness. He’d be giving up an easy life spent in the sun and trading it for dangerous moonlit nights spent in the shadows.

“My life has been that way from the first night we met,” Michael insisted. “Danny,please.”

“But the hatred is gone now, Michael,” I replied, feeling like I was encased in ice. I could feel the pain I was causing him, and I hated it. I hated every bit of it. But I still plowed on relentlessly, forcing my words out, one after the other. “And youcouldstopnow. The need to do this—to be a hunter—you don’t feel it anymore.”

Alarm and confusion shot through the bond. Michael blinked at me, surprised. Then dismay settled onto his face, and he shook his head. “Danny, that doesn’t matter. I’d walk through fire for you. An eternity spent in the darkness would be fine, so long as you were there with me.”

“Itdoesmatter, and you know it. You have a choice now. You could walk away any time you wanted.”

“You can’t possibly think that.”

“I do,” I replied stiffly. “Because it’s true. Youcouldstill walk away, if you really wanted. You still have a choice.”

“Fine. I mean, maybe at some nebulous point in the future, I could theoretically make the choice to go and lead a normal life, sure. I wouldn’t, but you’re right. I technicallycould.” Anger flashed through the bond, reflected in Michael’s eyes. “But what if I died tonight?” Michael demanded, his voice dropping dangerously. “What then, Danny?”

I gulped. And a selfish, needy part of myself almost compelled me to open my wrist then and there to give him my blood. So that he could never leave me. Not even if he died.

But I couldn’t—wouldn’t—do that to him. Not even if the idea of never losing him, of him being far less breakable, filled me with a hideous impulse to skip the waiting and just turn him then and there, on the spot.

But I couldn’t be selfish with him.

Michael fixed me with a ghastly, broken look, his lower lip trembling as his gaze met mine. “Are you sure about that?”

I stared back at him, at a loss for words, wondering if I was really making the right choice. Maybe if I’d had more time, he could have convinced me. But then again, maybe not. It was one thing to give him my blood to heal him, to preserve his life, but it was another thing entirely to give it to him knowing that it mightmake him into something inhuman, just so I wouldn’t have to live my life without him.

When the silence stretched too long, Michael nodded once at me, a sharp jerk of his head, like I had just finally convinced him. Then, without another word, he turned and stalked off toward the others, his hands clenched into fists. And I could feel the pain and doubt I’d just caused him, warring with his anger and disbelief.

He hadn’t pictured me saying no to him. He hadn’t been prepared for it. Not after everything else.

I had blindsided him.

Bryan and Thierry had probably overheard everything.

Thierry examined his nails, pretended to be deeply interested in his cuticle situation, but he said nothing as we approached. Bryan, however, watched me with a pained look as I trailed behind Michael, feeling like someone had scooped out my insides. Feeling like I had just broken something quintessential between us.

“Danny—” He started, taking a step toward me.

I shook my head sharply, causing him to fall silent. He nodded and his meaning was clear: he wouldn’t push it. But he still looked miserable. Which was ironic, because he had no reason to feel that way. He hadn’t just broken his mate’s heart without meaning to.

Not like I had.

I fixed the others with a hard gaze. “Let’s do this.”