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Instead, he slid his hand next to mine and held it, apparently with zero trepidation whatsoever. I expected to feel the urge to pull away from him, but I didn’t. Instead, his touch felt… nice.Toonice. I felt my cock begin to harden a bit at the feel of his warm skin next to mine. Which was mighty fucking weird, because holding hands with anyone—even with the prettiest of the girls I’d ever messed around with—had never done that to me before.

“Vampire isn’t the same as dead, Danny,” he told me firmly, still holding my gaze captive like he was some kind of fucking sorcerer. “Youweredead for about five hours. And I completely lost my shit until you woke back up. I ugly cried and everything. So, yeah. I think I fucking know the difference.”

I swallowed, not wanting to think about what he had been through. What if he were the one who had turned? Would I have really done anything so different? Or would I have wanted to believe—with every fiber of my being—that he was still here withme? That he could still be okay? I think I would have. I think I would have gambled everything on that bet, no matter how much of a long shot it really was. Because I couldn’t imagine a world without him in it.

“Anyway, it wasn’t your fault,” I replied, my voice sounding gruff and short to my own ears. I dropped my gaze down to our joined hands. Any moment now, he was going to let go. Or I would. One of us would, for sure. “None of it was your fault at all. I got jealous and I fucked everything up. End of story.”

A silence fell between us, and Michael and I just sat side-by-side in the abandoned barn, holding hands. And I let him. And he let me. And I didn’t know what any of it meant, but I liked it plenty. And I had zero urge to feed on him. I might’ve still been human, with how little my body reminded me that it was a hungry newborn vampire sitting next to a human man, filled with warm blood, ripe for the taking. And any moment now, it would all end, because anytime I had something good, even for a moment, it always—

“I don’t, you know.”

I did a double take, glancing back up at him. “You don’t what?”

“I don’t hook up anymore.”

A bark of surprised laughter escaped my lips before I could stop it. “Wait.What?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. Um. I’ve been leaving though. So you’d think I had.”

“I’ve seen the Grindr messages. You’ve made a point to let me see you messaging your tricks. You even showed me a couple of photos. Recently.”

He let out a long breath. He gave me a tentative smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah, I’m kind of fucked up sometimes. That wasn’t cool of me. The thing is—I started canceling on these poor guys at the last second. I didn’t reallymean to, at first. I thought I was going to do it. But then, I got halfway there and I just—I couldn’t go through with it. So I started just hanging out in the car for a couple hours. I didn’t want you to know.”

“You—” I broke off, understanding dawning for me. “Wait.Whendid you stop hooking up?”

His cheeks went a little red. “About the same time we met Bryan and Tobias.”

“When I said—” I broke off yet again, swallowing hard. Oh fuck. This was it. We were about to have thetalk.And I had just trundled right the fuck into it, hadn’t I?

“When you said you were in love with me,” Michael confirmed, going even redder. But apparently hell-bent on continuing, regardless. “Yeah. That’s when I stopped. Just… you know. For the record. I stopped.”

I stared at him, my brain hamster-wheeling wildly. This was really happening, and I wasn’t even remotely ready for it. But he’d already gone there. And now, I would have to… what, exactly? Pledge my—I supposed now, quite literally—undying love for him? Change the subject and shut him down completely? Explain how I was technically straight and interested in him purely romantically but not sexually, however confusing and selfish and weird that might be?

“You really want to have this conversation now?” I demanded, deciding that the best defense reallyisa good offense. “I mean, I might rip you to shreds at any moment.”

He rolled his eyes a little at that. But when he met my gaze again, his expression was serious. And imploring. “Please,don’t.”

“Rip you to shreds?” I asked hopefully.

“Danny.Just—stop, okay? I’m asking you not to do this. I want you to talk to me.” He paused. “Here it is—all my cards on the table. I fucking thought you were dead earlier. Before Irealized you were going to come back to me. And I thought I might die, too, because it hurt so much. And I realized that we’d neverknow. And I—well, I need to know.” He swallowed hard, and there was a flicker of raw vulnerability that flashed across his face. “So, look, please don’t shut me down right now. I’m not sure I could deal with that.”

I scowled a little. But the moment his words registered, I felt all of my resistance drain away from me. I didn’twantto shut him down anymore, no matter what it cost me. All because he had asked me not to. All because he’d just told me, in no uncertain terms, that he needed me not to.

“Okay,” I said, feeling the last my resistance to him give. It was a terrifying sensation. Without it, I felt naked and raw. “I meant what I said. I wouldn’t have just said it. You already know that, though.”

Michael kept silent, his gaze never leaving mine. And I realized that I had just done it again. He’d made himself excruciatingly vulnerable to me, but I hadn’t given him the same in return.

I took a deep breath, feeling grateful that it still had the power to steady me, even if it wasn’t necessary for my body any longer.

“I’ve been in love with you for years, I think.” I hesitated, watching as the words registered for him, softening the edges of his knife-edged gaze. I added, “You’re reckless and you do dumb stuff all the time that gets both of us into trouble, and your heart is always out on your goddamn sleeve. And you’re braver than anyone else I’ve ever met in my entire fucking life. And underneath all the asshole, you’re actually a really, really good person. And you try to be better, every goddamn day. I’ve watched you set aside years of hatred and fear, the moment you realized Bryan was different—that the world is a lot grayer thaneither of us realized. And so, yeah, I love you. I’m in love with you. How could I not be?”

His expression melted and his eyes went all soft and warm.

“Danny,” he whispered, swallowing hard. He looked almost bewildered. “I—I didn’t know all that.”

I felt shaken by what I had just said. The words I had just spoken to him had the power to rip both of us to shreds, didn’t they? After all, I wasn’t human any longer and neither of us knew what that meant. And if I had been worried about Michael leaving me before—everyone leaves—it was nothing compared to the reasons he had to do so now.

And if he didn’t really feel the same way—