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Blood pounded to my head and roared inmy ears. Dizziness swept through me. Was it another blood clot? No,it was panic. It was sheer panic.
Oblivious to mypredicament, she sat back. “Don’t cancel your party. I’m excited tosee what you have planned. I don’t hate other people’s birthdays. Ihatemybirthday.It’s a monument to what a disappointment I am.”
“You’re not adisappointment.” It came out too fiercely. Quieter, I added,“You’re not a disappointment to me.”
“And you’re the only personon Earth who matters,” she quipped.
“I like to believe so, andI’m glad you’re also on board.”
She sat up, wiping her eyeson the back of her hand. “Do you have some tissue?”
“I thought you would neverask.” I laughed grimly and passed her the box from the nightstand.I took one myself and dabbed my shoulder with it. Incase.
“I think I’m just tired,”she went on, blowing her nose comically. “Tonight was alot.”
“I’m sure it was.” Too muchof a good thing. “Tomorrow, let’s stay in. Me and you, being lazyall day.”
“I don’t want to waste yourtime here,” she began.
I wouldn’t let herapologize further. “You’re not wasting my time. I’ve been here fora while, remember? Hiding out?”
“It does seem like a goodplace to hide out. If you’re you, I mean,” she gestured around.“Netflix, video games, full-time staff, sex on demand. What elsecould someone want?”
Mental health services andthe knowledge that the woman I love isn’t going to bolt if I everso much as hint at loving her.Icompletely believed Scott when he said she didn’t commit to people.“I can even promise to fuck off and leave you alone, if it’s spacethat you need.”
“No.” She shook her head,her smile trembling at the corners. “Being with you doesn’t make mefeel like I need space.” She laughed. “Isn’t thatstrange?”
“Not at all.” I was glad wewere on the same page. “I feel the same way.”
It was as close toI love youas I’d everget to say to her.
****
(Charlotte)
Breakfast without sexyshenanigans was just as good as with sexy shenanigans, I found.There was still a huge amount of food, though Matt assured me itdidn’t get tossed out afterward.
“Anything we don’t touch,the staff gets dibs on.” He motioned to one of the staff membersstanding by. “And you guys eat it, don’t you?”
“Yes, sir,” the man saidenthusiastically. “Like a pack of hyenas.”
Matt laughed at that andturned back to me. “I don’t know what you like, and I don’t want toget up early enough for the breakfast buffet.”
“So, you bring the buffetto me.” It made sense, and I felt better knowing the food wouldn’tbe wasted. “Frankly, I’m fine with it.”
“Oh, I’mso glad.” His mouth twisted with suppressed amusement. “It alsoindulges myPretty Womanfantasy.”
“That’s a movie, right?” Ididn’t get all of his references. I knew for a fact that he didn’tget all of mine. “From like, a million years ago?”
“From like thirty yearsago. Don’t be dramatic,” he mock scolded me.
“I’ve never seen it. It’slike a rich guy falls in love with a sex worker, right?” I guess Icould see why that would be Matt’s fantasy. “I guess the fairy taleis appealing both ways?”
“I’m not sure how appealingit would be for a sex worker to have a client fall in love withthem, but from the billionaire perspective, it’s nice to think thatsomeday I’ll be able to fall in love with someone who isn’texpecting me to,” he said. Then he pointed at my half-empty juiceglass. “Need a refill?”
I shook my head and refrained fromcalling out his redirect. I was more than happy to get off thesubject of falling in love. I was teetering on the edge of futureheartbreak at the moment, as it was.
Realizing how much I likedMatt hadn’t worn off because I’d banged an extraordinary number ofstrangers the night before. I’d hoped that it would, but then he’dcome into the bathroom and told me about his random hook-up and I’dgotten weirdly emotional. About my birthday, of all things. Whichwasn’t coming for months.