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Scott laughed.
“You don’t understand,” Iwent on, the tightness in my chest easing. “I have access to richpeople medicine. We have the technology. My right hand isbiomechanical like Luke Skywalker.”
“Mustbehandyfor jacking off.” He snickered at his own pun.
“Left-handed, bro,” Ireminded him. “Besides, I don’t trust my dick to robot hands. It’sa hard line.”
“Seems like a good way toget it ripped off,” he agreed.
And thensilence.
And then, inevitably,“Dude. My sister, though?”
“Yeah…about that.”Don’tapologize.That’s what Charlotte had said,and that’s what I would stick to. “I need you to know that I didn’trun off and seduce her on purpose. It wasn’t a prank or something.We met by accident and to utilize an apt cliche, sparksflew.”
“I warned you about that.She’s charming as fuck, dude.” Scott made a grumbling, grudgingsigh. “You’re both adults. You fooled around. It’s water under thebridge, as far as I’m concerned.”
And this was the part whereI could either lie to my best friend, albeit, by omission, or Icould own up, be a man, and tell him straight out that I was stillgoing to be having sex with his sister.
On the other hand, cowardice issometimes a survival trait.
Sack up,Charlotte’s words echoed in my head.
“You probably should stopreferring to the subject in the past tense,” I said, wincing andbracing for Scott’s reaction.
“What do you m—” Hestopped, and I could imagine the expression of dawning horror onhis face. “Are you dating my sister?”
“No. I am not dating yoursister. I am having a long-distance sexual relationship with yoursister.”
My answer either baffledhim or plunged him into rage. Possibly both. “Long distance sexual…How does that even work?”
Did he really want to know? “Well,there’s Faceti—”
“I know how it works!” hesnapped. “I was thrown for a loop, okay?”
“Okay! Jeez. I’m respondingto your question, for fuck’s sake. Does it make you feel any betterto know that we haven’t been doing that? It’s been mostly flirtytexts and asking about my recovery. One’s libido is affected bythings like getting one’s leg ripped open like a god damn Christmaspresent.”
“So, you’re dating.” It wasan accusation.
“No. She’s not interested inthat and neither am I. We like each other.” Which was the perfectrelationship. Liking someone enough to want to spend time with themand fuck them, but not wanting to alter my life ortheirs.
“You’re going to propose toher within a year and she’s going to crush you.” Scott paused.“Actually, I’d be fine with that, at this point. It would teach youa lesson about ignoring my good advice.”
“Scott, I have never learnedthat lesson before. There is no reason to assume this will be thetime it sticks.” I added, “Besides, I can see myself being friendswith her, even after the sex stuff is over.”
“I’m going to tell you ‘Itold you so’ so hard.”
It would be a small price to pay. “So,we’re talking again?”
“I was never not talking toyou. I felt really, really bad about the bear,” he said.
“Let’s agree to blame thebear on Lauren, blame our lack of communication on my recovery andyour broken heart, blame me sleeping with your sister onher—because you apparently view her as some kind of succubus—andwalk away from this whole conversation with a comfortable denial ofresponsibility for the whole thing,” I suggestedcheerfully.
He agreed with, “If youcan’t be emotionally unhealthy with your friends, whocanyou be emotionallyunhealthy with?”
“To denial.” I raised myfree hand in a toast he couldn’t see, but which didn’t matterbecause I wasn’t drinking anything, anyway.
“I gotta go. Work let metake grief leave but now I’m behind in everything.”