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“Hayes...” I said, even as a tear slipped down my cheek. But he continued reading from his list.
“I want to trust and be trusted. I want no secrets or surprises. I want to be a provider to my woman—and my children if they come. I want to learn to stay through the hard stuff instead of running away.” And then he set the notebook down.
This time, he didn’t read from the book but looked in my eyes as he spoke. “I want a chance to see if this relationship is something that will last... but not at the cost of your dreams.” He reached over and grabbed Chopper and set him on the floor. Then he grabbed my hands, squeezing them lightly but with purpose. “I don’t know much about this job you’re moving for, but I know it must be a good opportunity for you to uproot your life here. If that new job is something you want, I could never stand in your way. But my life is here. I can’t go, and I won’t ask you to stay.”
I took one of my hands from his and swiped at the tears falling down my cheeks. “Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?” he asked.
“What you said last night, about loving me?”
His eyes were tortured as they stayed on mine. “I meant every word.”
My lips trembled as I took it in. Hayes loved me. And not in the tentative, shy way of a new relationship. He’d gone all in with me, just like I had with him. “The job was never about needing more money or to move up in my career,” I said softly, afraid my voice would fail. “It was about thinking I could never find this feeling in Cottonwood Falls... But then I found you. And you were here all along.” My voice cracked. My heart did too. “All this time we’ve missed out on...”
Hayes shook his head, wiping away my tears with both his thumbs. “We weren’t late. You and I were right on time.”
He seemed so confident, I had to ask, “What do you mean?”
“I needed time to grow into the man you deserved, to see you for the incredible woman you are.”
More tears flowed at the compliment, this time happy and relieved. “This isn’t going to be easy,” I warned. “My family, my friends, their support means a lot to me. You’ve shown me how amazing you are, but you’ll have to show them too.”
He rested his forehead against mine. “I’ll be here as long as it takes.”
“And no more making my car break down,” I teased.
He chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “But how am I supposed to get you on the back of my motorcycle?”
I leaned back, hitting his shoulder.
Laughing, he pulled me in. I held on to him, thankful to be in his arms. It felt like right where I belonged.
46
HAYES
As we lay in my bed, naked under the covers, Della traced her fingertips over the ridges of my stomach and then stalled on one particular tattoo.
“What does this one mean?” she asked, tracing the letters. Lead with love.
“It’s my first tattoo,” I said. The ink wasn’t as sharp, the letters slightly fuzzy at the edges, but it was still my favorite one.
“Really?” she asked, turning her green eyes on me. And instead of asking, she waited—because it was so different from my other tattoos.
“You want to know the story?” I asked, covering her hand on my chest. Her warm palm flattened against the tattoo, and I held it there.
Her voice was soft as she replied, “Only if you want to share.”
“I do.” I buried a kiss amongst her wild curls, closing my eyes to savor the moment, to gather my strength. “This one is for my mom. It’s what’s written on her gravestone.”
“Oh,” Della breathed.
“I’m not sure if I remember her saying it or if it’s just a memory my brain filled in. But according to my dad and my older brothers, it was her life’s motto.”
Della leaned her head against my shoulder, her weight a comfort. “What does it mean?” she asked. “I mean, I can guess, but...” Her words trailed off, leaving me to fill in the blanks.
“Mom said that there were a lot of unknowns in life and no one was ever handed a manual with instructions. And Dad said even if there were instructions, the men wouldn’t read them.” We both chuckled at that. “So Mom said that when you were in doubt of what to do next, you should always lead with love. When you’re lost, ask what love would do, and do that. She said that love could never steer you wrong.”