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I gave her a grateful smile. “Good, ‘cause my hanky’s already getting full.”
“Oh gross,” she said with a small chuckle.
I reached down and squeezed her hand. “Thank you for thinking of me.” Aggie was my best friend. She was my sunrise after so much pain of losing my wife and raising five boys on my own. Even if we weren’t in love, I loved her still.
She smiled over at me, something in her eyes I couldn’t quite place. But before I could ask how she was feeling, the preacher said it was time for us all to stand for the bride.
Guitar strings plucked softly as Della came out of the house with her dad, looking even more stunning as the early evening light caught the red shock of her hair.
She walked down the aisle toward Hayes, tears slowly dripping down her cheeks even as she smiled at her groom. And when I looked at my son, he was crying too.
She reached the end of the aisle, her dad shaking Hayes’s hand. Their relationship had started off rough, but in the last year, Hayes had shown up for Della like he promised. And her dad started to see Hayes through his daughter’s eyes. So he smiled at Hayes, and then he gave Della a big hug before walking to the other side of the aisle and holding his wife in his arms.
A pang of wistfulness, of envy, shot through me. Even though I appreciated Aggie’s friendship and cared for her deeply, it should be my wife sitting next to me.
I was lost in a sea of grief as the preacher started talking, but slowly brought myself to shore in time for the vows. They’d written their vows themselves at Hayes’s suggestion. He’d told me canned words could never come close to saying how he felt for Della.
She went first, speaking eloquently of her love and appreciation for Hayes. For always being himself and loving her exactly as she is.
And then my son spoke his vows.
“Everyone here knows I’m not the best with words,” he began. “I cuss a lot.”
A chuckle went through everyone here.
“Turns out, when you find your forever, it’s easy to say how much you love them.”
Aggie passed me a tissue, and I pressed it to the corners of my eyes.
Hayes gripped his bride’s hands, running his thumbs over her freckled skin. “Della, I was so afraid when we first started dating. I was afraid to fuck it up. Afraid to hurt you. Afraid you’d figure out you’re an angel too good for a devil like me... But turns out, I should have been afraid of missing out on a love like this.”
As Hayes spoke the rest of his vows, I gave up on holding back tears, and they flowed down my cheeks as I wiped at them.
Over the course of the ceremony, my tears changed to a happy smile. They made sure Hayes’s sense of humor and Della’s contagious joy were incorporated into every bit of the wedding. And when they kissed, I stood up with everyone else, whooping and cheering for their happily ever after.
As people started filing out of their seats, I noticed just how happy everyone seemed. Almost everyone.
To my side, tears streamed down my Aggie’s cheeks. She tried to hide her pain by looking away, but I held her elbows, steering her toward me. “Aggie, what’s wrong?”
She looked up at me, so much pain in her eyes it shot through my heart. “I’m just... I’m realizing that I might never have a love like that.” She twisted from me and joined the group of people walking toward the tent set up for the reception.
But I stayed frozen in place, an all-too familiar ache cutting me bone deep.
I loved Aggie, but I’d loved a woman once before.
I hardly survived her loss, and only because I promised Maya I’d stay strong for our boys. How could I do it a second time?
A cheer erupted as Hayes stopped on the path to the reception building and dipped Della into a romantic kiss.
And then a small voice spoke in my head...
If my son can be brave, maybe I can too.