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“Why?” She stabs green beans with her fork and teases, “Does it mess with his bad boy image?”

“I think his father’s expectations are part of why he’s not looking at the draft,” Reese licks gravy off his fingers. “Coach keeps trying to get him to reconsider, but so far he’s not interested. I get the feeling his dad has other plans for him lined up after graduation.”

“As a minister?” Twyler blurts, eyes wide. “Holy shit, can you imagine?”

I can’t. Not in the slightest, but some of what Reese says tracks with what Axel has said himself. I can’t imagine him not wanting to pursue a career in the NHL. Not every player gets that opportunity. Not even every player in thisroom.

“I wasn’t sure if he had what it takes to go pro,” Reese admits, “but after the last few weeks, seeing him take his probation seriously, I’m pretty sure if he wanted it, he could.”

There’s a million questions I want to ask about Axel, or maybe I just want to have his name on my tongue. Our relationship–even a friendship–isn’t something I feel like I can openly talk about without Twyler getting suspicious.Or worse, passing judgment. So I sit back as the conversation changes, trying not to dwell on the feeling in the pit of my stomach when, across the room, Heather feeds Axel a bite of her mashed potatoes.

“Freaking puck bunnies,” Darla says. She and Reid took the last two seats at the table. “They’re like vultures.”

“Sharks,” I blurt, regretting it as everyone looks at me. “That’s what I’ve heard before.”

Reid snorts. “Sounds about right. All teeth.”

Darla shoots him a glare, while picking up a roll from his plate and buttering it for him. Twyler and I exchange a look, before Reese brings up the New Kings concert they went to a few weeks ago. I don’t look at Axel again until we’ve finished eating. To his credit, he seems like he’s trying to create distance between him and Heather, moving over at one point to watch the hockey game Kirby pulled up on the TV.

To her credit, she’s undeterred and follows.

The rest of the guys all wander over, ready to settle in when Darla bangs her fist on the countertop and shouts, “No one leaves until this kitchen is spotless.”

“Is this why they’re always on the rocks?” I ask Twyler as we take over sink duty. “Because she’s bossy as hell?”

“I can’t figure them out. Reid’s a good guy, but he just never seems fully invested in the relationship.” She runs a handful of silverware under the faucet. “My mom always says it’s important for the man to be more into the girl than the other way around. I think Darla likes Reid too much, and he knows it. It makes him lazy.”

I glance over at my friend. Two months ago she would have been at home, curled up on the couch in her grungy old hoodie, watching true crime. Now she’s got a boyfriend, a group of friends, and is a relationship Yoda.

“Look at you being all relationship savvy.”

“Yeah, being in a functional one helps.”

I’d have no insight on that. Heather is still glued to Axel’s side when Heather hands me a to-go container of leftovers and Reese kisses Twyler goodnight. She’s headed back to the Teal house with me since they’re leaving for Tennessee in the morning. Yep. A month in and they’re spending Thanksgiving together. I mean, sure, his dad will be traveling with his junior hockey team for a tournament, but this is still relationship big.

If Axel notices me leave, I miss it. The whole night has left me feeling raw and conflicted. He was appreciative of the food I made for him. But maybe it was a step too far for two people not in a relationship. Girls make food for their boyfriends, not for the guy that gives them an orgasm occasionally. The further away we get from the Manor, the more I realize I fucked up. Big time. Like every other man I’ve made myself available to, I read more into it than was there, and when it came time to acknowledge it, I was nothing but a dirty little secret.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I broken like this?

Back home, I’m in the middle of packing when my phone buzzes.

Mom: Excited to see you tomorrow!

Nadia: Me too!

Mom: Your dad will pick you up at the airport. Bring a raincoat!

I shake my head at the raincoat comment, and send a heart emoji in response. My mother is obsessed with the weather.

I don’t mind going home. Getting some warmer weather will be nice as will seeing my family; my parents, older brother, andhis fiancée. I feel like I navigate two worlds. One here and one there. Back home, I’m still their sweet, little, innocent Nadia. They were oblivious to my life then as they are now. They’ve always seen what I’ve curated for them. Completely PG. They have no idea about the situation with Brent or CJ. It’s one reason I refused to report it. My parents would be crushed.

I’m trying to decide if I can fit my raincoat into my carry-on bag when I hear a tap. There’s no one in the bedroom door, and there’s a second tap, this one coming from the window. Axel’s shadowy figure is visible behind the glass.

I shut and lock the door before opening the window.

“What are you doing?” I whisper.

“Coming to see you,” he says, climbing in without an invitation. “I missed you all night.”