Page 40
Story: Frozen Over
Benefits that include a shirtless Zach Evans, my car, him lying on a creeper so he can slide underneath, plenty of tools, and an oil change. Go figure. Suffice to say very little painting is getting done. It’s amazing how useful sunglasses can be, providing an excellent opportunity to pretend like you’re focused on one thing when you are entirely distracted by another.
“She’s all set.” Zach rolls out from under the car and rubs his hands down his ripped and now oil-stained jeans. Riding low on his hips, the deep set of his v is on full display.
How many ways can I break my car over the next two weeks?
Dropping my paintbrush, I head over to check out his handiwork.
“It was a simple fix in the end. The seal on your head gasket was spent.” He points to what must be the gasket. “I replaced it.Your car was leaking oil everywhere.” He rubs his tattooed hands on a white rag.
I don’t think I’ve ever been as turned on.
I lower my sunglasses and pull my bottom lip between my teeth. “That just went completely over my head, I can’t lie. But thank you.”
He runs a rough hand over the scruff on his jaw and smirks at my flushing cheeks. “Something affecting you, Rocket? Look at it as penance for walking around here in tiny bikinis and shorts for the past seven weeks.”
Before I get a chance to reply, I’m scooped up and set on the now-closed hood. Looping my fingers in the waistband of his jeans, I pull him closer. “The house is almost complete.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you.”
I smile up at him, knowing time is running out this summer. School starts back in a couple of weeks, and by that point, Zach will be in pre-season training. “For what it’s worth, I really enjoyed it. It’s been the best summer ever.”
Something flashes through his eyes, but I can’t pinpoint the emotion. “We still have some time left.”
I want to spend every minute of that time with him, soak in every second, and imprint every memory as deeply into my mind as possible. But letting my heart overtake my brain is dangerous, and for the first time in my life, I know I need to hold back. The realization hits me hard and fast, right here at this moment. I feel like I’m falling through the floor.
I’m flying without a net, and when Zach inevitably returns to Seattle, only to be surrounded by women, I need to be prepared. I’ll go to the gala; I’ll be his date and spend time with his friends. But I need to pull back, and I need to do it now. I know my heart has fallen as far as I can let it go, and the tether to rein it back in is at full stretch. My gut doesn’t lie, and it's telling me I’ve gone as far as I can go.
I let go of his belt loops and sit back on my hands. “I have to focus some of my time on schoolwork and class prep now.”
His full lips press together in a thin line. “Why do I get the feeling that you’re pulling back on me.”
If I pretend like I’m not, then he’ll call me out on it. He knows me too well. “I guess because I am.”
“You don’t need to, Luna.” His hand flies up to cup the right-hand side of my face.
I press my palm over it and lean into his touch. “I do.” Tears sting at the edges of my vision, and on instinct, I push my sunglasses back up my nose to cover the evidence.
But Zach pulls them off completely. Searching my eyes, he slowly nods his head in understanding. I wonder if that’s because he feels the same way, or if he’s simply giving me what he knows I need.
“Where do we go from here?” he asks, strain pulling at his voice.
I hadn’t given it much thought up until now, when the realization that I need to step away hit me like a ten-ton truck. “I’ll come to the gala with you, and I’m looking forward to meeting your friends. But I can’t sleep with you anymore. I can’t share a bed with you again, and we need to go back to being just friends, nothing else.”
Each syllable rips at my throat as I push the words out that need to be said. I need to protect my heart and, in doing so, maybe his too.
“Fuck, Luna. Where’s all this coming from?”
“You know where. At the start of this summer, you made it clear that this had an expiration date. That if we got involved, it was just for now. I took what I could and dove in with both feet, but you head back soon to your very different life and a career you’ve worked so hard for, and I have a promotion in mine to pursue. For once in my life, I have to listen to my head.”
I feel like I’ve just drawn a pistol and shot myself clean through the chest. The pain is welcome though, reassuring me I’m making the right decision—if I carry on down this route, it will be a thousand times worse when he inevitably leaves.
I imagine if I could see that pain, it would look something similar to what’s behind Zach’s eyes. “You don’t have to come to the gala. But damn it, I want you to.”
“I want to. I want to support you and your foundation. We’re still the same friends, remember?”
He takes a step back from me, and I slide off the hood. “Yeah, Luna. Nothing’s changed.”
Felicity
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