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I’m drowning in his touch when he pulls back, and the loss I feel is instant. My hand flies to my slightly swollen lips, the feel of his facial hair still dancing across my skin.

“Shit, fuck. We shouldn’t have done that.” Zach squeezes his eyes shut.

It’s like all the ties to my blissful suspension are cut, and I come crashing down to earth with a bang. “W-what? Why?” Surely, he felt the undeniable pull between us. I can’t be imagining it. I still have the goosebumps as evidence.

“You’re my friend, Luna, and I’m…I’m not in a good place right now. I can’t give you whatever it is you think I can. I’m fucking broken, torn up and damaged, and I’m not about to get involved with anyone only to hurt her. Especially not you.” Heruns his hands up and down my sides in a soothing motion, like that’s supposed to alleviate the total embarrassment and rejection tearing through me. “You mean too much to me.”

I pull back off his lap and come to stand in front of him between his slightly parted legs. Crossing my arms over my chest, I fight back the tears threatening to break free.

God, I feel like such a freakin’ idiot.

What was I thinking? I totally misjudged this. Of course, Zach Evans sees me as a friend. I couldn’t be any further from his type. “Okay, I understand. I’m really sorry. I don’t know what I was?—”

“Hey, it’s cool, Luna; it’s fine. I’m flattered. Really, I am.” He comes to a stand and wraps his arms around me, resting his chin on top of my head. “I shouldn’t have kissed you back. I guess you’ve been a lifeline for me since I’ve been home. The one good thing, caring for me, looking out for my best interests.” He lets out a heavy sigh. “We just got carried away.” Pulling back, he places a hand on each of my shoulders, looking me in the eyes as he swipes a piece of hair from my cheek. “We’re good, right?”

I nod and fight to stay strong. He doesn’t need to see the truth, that it couldn’t be any further from “good.” I can save that for when I get home. “Yeah, sure.”

I glance at my watch. It’s not even late, but I need out and away from the painfully awkward atmosphere I’ve created. “I am going to get going though. It’s late, and I have chores at home. I’m sure you probably want to relax, and, yeah. I’ll see myself out.”

“Luna.”

I’m already halfway to the kitchen and grabbing my bag from the counter when he calls my name in a defeated tone. I feel sick to my stomach at the way I once again humiliated myself and overstepped.I swear to God I could barf right here—that would round off my embarrassment perfectly.

Feeling dizzy and my head spinning out, I pause in the archway separating the kitchen from the living room and see Zach still standing in the same place, his shoulders slumped, his hands shoved in the back pockets of his jeans.

I fight to wear a smile, as strained as it may be. “I get it; it’s fine. I’ll be over tomorrow, and we can get back to it and forget any of this ever happened.”

I’m out the front door and racing to my car, trying to stay upright as waves of nausea continue to overtake me. I need to get home and hide under a mountain of blankets because, honestly, I don’t think my heart can take hearing another word.

CHAPTER NINE

ZACH

Where the fuck is she?

I take another sip of coffee and pull out my phone. I set it down and head for the veranda once I see I still have no notifications. It’s past eight, and by now, Luna would’ve finished her morning swim and be set up and painting my kitchen, giving me shit about the boring color going on the walls.

But she isn’t anywhere to be seen, and I know it's to do with what happened last night.

I’ve never had a kiss like it. Honestly, I’m not even sure if I’ve ever kissed anyone before I kissed Luna last night. The charge between us made every other time seem nothing more than a blip on my radar. The moment our lips connected, it was like an atomic bomb had landed right in the middle of my life. I can still feel the way she moved on my lap, the squeeze of her thighs around me, and her soft, sweet mouth on mine. The whimper she made at my touch has replayed over and over in my head, invading my dreams.

So I freaked out.

I remembered all the reasons I was steering clear of getting involved with someone. But pulling away from her cut deeper than I ever imagined, and seeing the look in her eyes? A look that I put there. I never want to be responsible for making her feel that way again. I never want her to feel hurt like that by anyone. Light like hers is supposed to illuminate the entire world, and it needs to be cherished. Just another reason why my gray, miserable ass should stay well away.

My head whips around when my phone buzzes across my coffee table. Stumbling over the frame of the sliding doors, I race toward it and pick it up. As much as I love her, Mom is not the name I was hoping to see.

“Hey, honey! Just checking in to see how the renovations are coming along. I was thinking of stopping by this weekend when I’m off work.”

“Yeah, sure. Things are progressing.” The kitchen is halfway to being fully painted, and when I look at the half-finished walls, a wave of uncertainty passes through me, wondering if it will be me who finishes Luna’s neat work. “Still got a lot left to do.”

“You can always call on your dad and Luke you know. He stopped by yesterday.”

My stomach clenches as I recall what Luke saw yesterday morning.

“Yeah, how is he?” I reply, trying to sound casual.

“Well, to be honest, he seemed distant. He mentioned he’d offered to help you. Maybe you should take him up on it. It could be a chance for you to get close again.