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Her brow furrowed. “What’s so funny?”
“Yesterday, we said we’d clear up any confusion today...”
“And now everything is even more confusing,” she finished for me. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to stay longer.”
“No, it’s not. You’re right. This is just...” I sighed heavily. “Fuck. We’ve just made everything more difficult. But we’re adults. We’ll manage.”
“How do you always sound so reassuring?”
“I told you, it’s my secret weapon.”
For once, I wasn’t convinced that we’d manage, though. Hell, I was semihard right now for no reason at all. This conversation certainly didn’t warrant that reaction from my body.
“You really think so?” she asked me, and I nodded.
“Yeah. You can count on me to...” What, keep it in my pants? What the hell was I going to promise? “To do what’s right.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant yet. But as usual, I was going to figure it out.
“Nick, you’re amazing, and I... Look, if circumstances were different...”
“Allison, we both know what the circumstances are. No point torturing ourselves with what they’d be otherwise.” I tilted closer to her because I needed this more than anything right now. “Thiswas amazing. And it stays here, okay? Between these walls. Our secret.”
She laughed nervously. “Wasn’t going to brag about it anyway.”
I was feeling a bit shitty right now, knowing what we were doing was not going to help the kids in the long run. I needed to remember the whole point of this facade; otherwise, I’d fuck it all up.
But the temptation to kiss her was almost too hard to beat, so I tilted my head away, taking a deep breath before kissing her forehead and straightening up.
How the hell was I going to live in this woman’s house and not give in to my attraction to her when I still wanted her so badly?
Chapter Nineteen
Allison
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I daydreamed about my evening with Nick for the entire next week. It didn’t even matter where I was: at home with the twins, at work, or commuting. Images kept flashing in my mind, and I smiled like a lunatic every time. It had been a weak moment and generally a bad idea, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy reminiscing about it. Even though I absolutely and firmly did not intend to go down that road again.
We were doing this for the kids. The fake marriage was just that. If we confused it with a relationship and it didn’t work out, how would that help the children? Though I guessed it would be no different than when we fake divorced later on.
Ugh. This whole thing was making me crazy.
Did I think it was going to be problematic that we’d be living under one roof? Yes. Did I also think it was unfortunate that I didn’t have an extra bedroom? Hell yes. I mean, what if Nick liked to be comfortable when he slept and only wore boxers? I sometimes went downstairs to grab a glass of water in the night. What if in my sleepy haze, I couldn’t resist those abs and just jumped him?
Those kinds of thoughts percolated in my mind a lot.
So when Nick texted me to say that his assistant had secured a date at city hall two Saturdays from now, an avalanche of feelings overwhelmed me. However, for the first time, I was certain this wasn’t a mistake.
Allison: Great. Are we still supposed to go to city hall and choose a room?
Nick: Frances is taking care of everything.
Allison: I’m going to go all out for a dress. Not a traditional dress, but something very fancy. I know it’s not real, but I still feel like celebrating.
Nick: You’ll look stunning.
Allison: So will you. Suits look amazing on you.