Page 86 of Fly with Me

He sucked in more wine, grimacing. “Jesus, Olive. Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“That was on me. There was this moment, I was still amped up from the award thing, and she was hot, and we had a great time. I’m an adult. It’s my choice.”

“So, she said she can’t be a girlfriend because she’d be a bad one, and she doesn’t have time for one… But she keeps canceling stuff to hang out with you, her fake girlfriend? Who she makes out with. Are we in high school again?”

“She’s not canceling stuff for me.”

“Sure. So are you going to invite her out with us tomorrow for the unit happy hour? Joni chose the bar this time since she’s actually going to come and might bring her twin sister.”

“Can’t. I’m—”

“Hanging out with Stella.”

“Staaaahhhp. We aren’t just hanging out. We’re going shopping for a dress. I need another one to go to the next event, and with all your whining about our last mall excursion, I decided to ask Stella. This perfect dress is in a store in Ashburn.”

“Are you getting dinner before?” He swirled his wine with one hand and petted Gus with the other.

“People have to eat.”

“And are you going home after?”

“She was going to come over so we could watch that new show on Netflix.”

He put the tie down on the coffee table as if it were Exhibit A in evidence. “You guys are in a real relationship.”

“We’re friends.”

“You’re dating.” He threw his hands into the air.

“We’re fake dating. It’s supposed to look real. That’s the point.” The weird thing was, Stella hadn’t posted any of the photos they’d taken together to Instagram. Olive couldn’t shake a nagging worry over that.

Derek let out a sound of feral exasperation. “This is the most ridiculous existential debate I’ve ever had. What’s the difference?”

“We’re not having sex.”

He shook his head. “I can’t with girls.” He shook his head again and held up a hand as if shielding him from the situation that was Olive’s life.

“It’s a good thing you’re gay.”

“Damn straight. I want a dude, I do it the old-fashioned way. I swipe right on my phone and ask him very respectfully if he’d like to come home with me and take off my pants. And then we take turns. Like gentlemen. None of this weird longing and giggling over text messages.”

“Fuck you, I don’t giggle.”

“Correction. You used to never giggle. Now I see you giggling over your phone like a damn teenager. Kissing on the couch also probably like a teenager. Won’t be surprised if after the next event you end up with a hickey like Kristen Daniels gave you sophomore year. When’s the next event?”

“Next week.” She started to respond to the low-blow hickey comment, but a text came in on her phone.

STELLA

Dog attack, beesting, and wild wombat attack

OLIVE

STELLA

Okay, I don’t have hard data on the wombats, but one can assume it’s pretty rare but still not as rare as a plane crash. I have a keen intuition about statistics. Fun fact, did you know they poop cubes?

“She’s texting you, isn’t she?”