Page 70 of Fly with Me

OLIVE

Just everything. I’m sorry. I need a little space right now. I’m good tho.

See. Take that, Lindsay. Olive wasn’t being emotionally needy.

STELLA

Oh okay. Space. I understand. This has all been moving quickly. Take all the time you need.

God, she’s an amazing girlfriend.

The trouble was that she wasn’t actually Olive’s girlfriend. She’d probably never be Olive’s girlfriend.

Something essential seemed to crumple beneath Olive’s ribs.

She didn’t leave the couch for hours. She hadn’t had a day like this in a long time. Everything was impossible and nothing would be better. Ever. On days like this her entire body ached.

She mustered the energy to take Gus on a walk at noon. Then was back on the couch. As she was getting ready to take him for another walk before she gave him dinner, her phone rang.

The image of Stella on a date passed through her mind again.

But, of course, Stella was wonderful so she was giving her the space she asked for.

Olive’s mother’s lawyer was calling. She hit the button to ignore the call.

The documents.

Olive hissed a curse under her breath, hurrying over to grab her computer as she slid her finger across the screen. Another email had come in. Actually from her mother this time.

It had ***TIME SENSITIVE*** in the subject line.

In the body of the email there was no greeting.

My attorney said he would be calling if we don’t hear from you soon. We’re lucky to get on this doctor’s consultation schedule at all. Heather said you were “busy,” but excuses like that don’t really work when I know your heart’s not in this anyway. We need this done today.

Olive fought an urge to call her mother and yell at her. She couldn’t lose it on her mom right now. In her current mental state, horrible things would come out of her mouth. They’d all be true. But they wouldn’t make anything better.

She spoke to her computer as she clicked and typed through DocuSigned forms. “I’m authorizing the payments right now, but just keep acting like I’m the worst person in the world. I totally deserve it.” Her sarcasm was lost on Gus, who was still waiting by the door, nosing his leash.

When she finished going through the paperwork, her feet were heavy as she stood. She trudged over to the door. Once she got there, she stood still for a few minutes. In the fog of the day, her brain couldn’t keep up with what she was supposed to be doing. As if he could understand her lack of direction, Gus nuzzled her hand.

“Right. Walk. Outside. Now.” Olive’s version of a pep talk today sounded more like the speak-and-spell in ET.

She forced herself through the walk, fed Gus, and fell into bed at 6:30 P.M.

Going to bed early had the unfortunate side effect of her waking up at 5:30 A.M. Her clothes were twisted around her as if she’d been thrashing in her sleep. A slight stickiness coated her skin. She’d woken up several times after bizarre dreams—nothing like naughty Stella dreams. Nightmares where the world was crumbling around her, and she could do nothing to stop it. Dreams about Jake. That day when the cops showed up at her apartment with grave expressions on their faces. That first moment when she saw him afterward. He was barely recognizable. The video of the accident.

She grabbed her phone, eyes burning from the bright screen.

There were texts from 8:00 P.M. last night, and she hadn’t heard them come in.

STELLA

I’m worried that our arrangement is adding to your stress

And then at 8:10 P.M. she sent another text. No. No. No.

STELLA