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Finally, I let my grief run free.
Tear after tear rolled down my skin. I sobbed loudly and tried to wipe my cheeks dry with my hand. But soon after, my skin was wet again. I cried like I had never cried before in my life.
Part of me wanted to turn around and see what Carter was doing. Was he watching me? Or had he already gone into the house?
I lifted my chin a little higher. If Carter was watching me, he shouldn't see how unhappy I was, at any cost. I would walk slowly through the gate with my head held high. Like a queen. Even if I was crying like a baby. Determined, I lifted my chin another notch. Meanwhile, my tears dripped from my cheeks onto my purple dress, leaving dark spots on the neckline. But that couldn't be seen from behind.
Finally, I reached the gate.
The temptation to turn around became overwhelming. In my mind, they were all standing in a row at the other end of the driveway, watching me. Carter. His grandmother. His parents. Cameron. Hanny. Johnny's mother. Abigail.
Don't turn around, Isabella. That jerk doesn't deserve it.
I stepped from the gravel driveway onto the asphalt road without turning around and quickened my pace a little.
Where did this road lead?
I had no idea where I was exactly.
Carter and I had flown here in his helicopter. I had been awestruck seeing Long Island from above. Elegant villas, huge estates, and the sea right behind them.
But now I had no orientation at all. I didn't know where New York was, how far away the city was, and how long it would take me to get back home.
Was there a bus here?
But the thought of sitting in a vehicle with other people made me shudder. I just wanted to crawl into a corner and cry my heart out.
Less than an hour ago, I had felt like Carter had special feelings for me. More than just lust. As if he felt the same way I did.
My heart had skipped a beat every time I saw him. I hadn't told anyone, but deep down, so deep that I barely dared admit it to myself, I had seen myself in Hanny's place. And Carter in Cameron's place. I had imagined a wonderful future.
My future.
Our future.
And now I had nothing.
No Carter.
No 50,000. No, he certainly wouldn't pay me that. I hadn't achieved the intended goal. Carter's grandmother didn't see me as the good fiancée with whom her grandson would be happy. Carter wouldn't get half the inheritance. And I wouldn't get 50,000 dollars.
So I couldn't pay off my bank debts, let alone the next loan installments. I was deep in debt. The apartment would be sold.
Where would I go then?
I didn't even have a job to pay rent for a room. I could already see myself having to depend on other people's goodwill again. Living off my sister.
My life was in shambles.
I had put all my eggs in one basket.
I had bet everything on Carter.
And lost.
I had bet everything on the wrong horse.
On the day of the accident, when I had first seen Carter, I had been convinced I was really in deep shit. At the memory of it, I laughed tiredly. I had no idea, really. I had been doing pretty well back then.