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My best friend now got off his quad, took off his helmet, and gave me a hearty slap between the shoulder blades. "Congratulations, buddy. You did it, champ. How do you feel?"
"Great," I replied, although the expected high hadn't set in yet.
What was wrong with me?
Don and I now left the finish area and walked slowly towards the clubhouse. The award ceremony would take place later on the steps to the veranda.
Why did I feel hardly any anticipation at this thought? For weeks, I had imagined how I would feel when I finally put Cameron in his place. In second place. In the place behind me.
Now it had happened. And I felt... nothing.
Was I getting sick?
But I felt perfectly healthy.
"You don't sound like a winner," Don now remarked. "What's going on?"
"I'm just having a bad day. Since this morning. Somehow things haven't been going well lately." I shrugged.
"What's not going well?" Don wanted to know.
"Oh, just everything." I had no idea what wasn't going well.
"Are you having problems with the production of your new products?" Don wouldn't let up. I usually appreciated my friend's persistence, but now I would have loved to snap at him and tell him to shut his trap.
"No, everything's good at the company." I kept my answer as short as possible to give Don no opportunity to probe further.
"It's great that you can now supply batteries to the Elecar Corporation. Your numbers must be going through the roof! You've made it!" Don grinned at me enthusiastically.
"Yes, Carco Batteries is doing pretty well," I confirmed. "It was quite good that I managed to convince those other board members that my product is better and their chairman is only thinking about his own interests. I won." Yes, I had beaten Cameron in this respect too. Last week I had received the good news and felt similarly empty as I did today.
"You haven't sounded this unenthusiastic since we had to memorize Shakespeare in school." Don remained persistent.
"What are you trying to say?" I knew exactly what Don was trying to say. Normally, I would have grinned more enthusiastically than him, ordered a few bottles of the best champagne, organized some women, and had a proper night out.
Maybe I should do exactly that? In the past, I had always had a lot of fun and thoroughly enjoyed myself at such events. But strangely, the thought of a wild party with everything I could wish for now didn't spark any anticipation in me.
"Damn it, Carter. You've achieved all your goals. More even. And you're walking around here with a face like a wet weekend." Don wouldn't give up. It was really getting on my nerves. He wasn't a damn psychiatrist who could rummage around in my feelings like a homeless person in one of the trash cans in Central Park.
At that moment, Cameron walked past me. To my surprise, he stopped. "Well, do you feel better? You've won here too. BROTHER." He spat out the last word.
"It must be hard for you to face your own incompetence," I shot back. This remark made me feel better instantly. If I could snap at Cameron, it felt somehow familiar. I could blow off steam.
"I never wanted to manufacture those stupid batteries anyway," Cameron growled.
"Well then. Do something else." I shrugged. I really didn't care about Cameron. I would have wished anyone else good luck in pursuing their dreams. But not my brother.
He had once destroyed my dreams.
"You can have the contract. But I'll never forgive you for sucking up to our grandmother like that." Cameron's eyes narrowed to slits as he looked at me. In the past, that had been a sign he was about to attack me.
A fight would suit me just fine right now. Giving Cameron a good thrashing was long overdue anyway.
"What do you mean, sucking up?" I retorted. "Our grandmother just loves me."
And not you.
But I only thought that, I didn't say it.