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I didn't want to think about that now.
I lowered my gaze to the test stick.
Two pink lines.
I threw the stick on the table. "I'm pregnant."
Hayley reached for the stick. "Yes. You are." She looked at me expectantly, waiting to see how I would react.
For the first time in my life, I didn't know what I felt. I was pregnant. Pregnant. Of course, I loved children. My sister Joanna's child. My friend Leanna's. But those were other people's children.
What about my own child?
Oh, of course I would love it.
But somehow I didn't feel quite grown up myself yet.
Was I even ready to have a child?
Mothers were these perfect beings who never messed anything up, always arrived on time, and had at least thirty pots with perfectly thriving plants on their windowsills. I even lost my pregnancy test and was rarely punctual. At least I had made some progress with plants lately.
"What are you thinking, Isabella?" Hayley's question snapped me out of my thoughts.
"I don't think I'm ready for a child," I admitted.
"Every woman thinks that when she's pregnant." Hayley smiled at me. "All my sisters thought that. And everything always turned out fine. It's just something new, unfamiliar, that you have to get used to. It always feels weird at first."
"Yeah... maybe. But at least they had a man and weren't so scatterbrained."
Hayley laughed. "When you're not so excited, you're not scatterbrained either. And as for the man..." Hayley paused and put a hand on mine. "Talk to Carter again, Isabella. Even if you don't have any feelings left for him. This is HIS child too. It's only fair that he pays for it. He has more than enough money."
"But I don't want him to think I'm trying to pin a child on him now and get money that way because he didn't pay me the $50,000." This thought had been bothering me the whole time. Now I finally said it out loud.
"Oh please. That's a ridiculous thought. You were pregnant first, right? Then you had an argument. And the money didn't come. Right?" Hayley looked at me challengingly.
"Yes," I had to agree with her.
"He had his fun too. There's no reason why you should raise the child alone for the rest of your life and earn all the money for it too. He should pay."
I let Hayley's words sink in. What choice did I have? I had no money without a child. With a child, I would have even less. Carter, on the other hand, had so much money that he had probably already lost track of exactly how much it was.
Hayley was right.
He should pay.
I stood up.
"Let's go."
"Where?" Hayley asked.
"I want to go to Carter. You're right. He should pay up. And this time I don't want to bury my head in the sand, but tackle the issue head-on. Then I'll have it behind me." If I didn't leave right away, I might change my mind.
Hayley nodded. "Let's go then."
My heart was racing. This time, even deep breaths couldn't calm it down. And it wasn't because of the pregnancy.
The thought of seeing Carter again triggered a wave of emotions that I really couldn't blame on the pregnancy.