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For myself.
For my own peace of mind.
"I will... tell Carter what... what I think of him," I said haltingly.
A cheater like him had earned exactly that. His whole family was here, including his grandmother. What would she say about her fine grandson? Maybe she would disinherit him? After all, his "engagement" had only existed on paper.
The thought that Carter would lose what he had wanted most urgently gave me secret pleasure. Then he would feel exactly like I did. I too had just lost what I had wanted most.
Him.
Carter.
Where could he be?
"He wanted to make a phone call," I said. "I... I'll go look for him."
"He's probably in his father's office. I know where that is. Come on." Abigail nodded to me and I slowly followed her across the lawn. Before us stood the majestic country house of the Jenkins family. Had I really felt more at home here than almost anywhere else in my life less than half an hour ago?
As we walked across the lawn, I tried to come up with the right words. How should I confront Carter?
I know what you did, you don't need to say another word...
No, that was too childish.
You miserable cheater, you bastard, you...
No, that was too melodramatic.
Why did you do this to me?
No, that was too helpless.
Couldn't you keep it in your pants for even one week and control yourself?
No, that was too aggressive.
Abigail told me everything. I'm going home now. Our contract is ending anyway.
Yes.
That sounded good.
Not sentimental, not spectacular, not accusatory. Mature. It was the end of a business relationship. That's all we had. Carter wouldn't be able to perceive any weakness in me. No emotion.
And his family would want to know what contract I was talking about. Carter would have to answer to his grandmother.
As we stood at the stairs to the country house, the door suddenly opened and Carter and his grandmother appeared before us.
The sight of Carter's athletic body in sportswear made my heart skip a beat. But only for a minute. Then it started hammering wildly against my ribs again.
Isabella! Remember who he is. What he did. And remember what you want to tell him.
What did I want to tell him?
Abigail told me everything. I'm going home now. Our contract is ending anyway.
In my mind, I repeated the sentence three times. I had to be strong now. I couldn't forget my resolutions.