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I huff. “Well, he sounds like a smart person. Listen to him.”

Ezra’s mouth twitches. “Don’t let him hear you say that. I’ll never live it down.”

He lets go of my hand and gets up, pacing in front of the television. I drink the rest of my hot chocolate while he picks things up randomly, dropping clothes into a pile on the floor and replacing the cushions that are strewn across the carpet. I wait patiently for him to come back.

When I’m done, he takes my mug into the kitchen. Briefly, I wonder if I should leave — but the sense of something unfinished keeps me pinned to the couch.

Clarity is unfurling in me, just like he said. It’s as if I’ve been in a fog and it’s slowly thinning, and the first thing I see is him.

I can’t quite tell what it means, but it’s important.

Finally, he sits down again. “Do you want to watch a few episodes of Unnatural?”

I hesitate.

Ezra rubs his face. “Let me rephrase that. I want to watch my comfort show and hold you. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” I breathe, relieved.

My wings vibrate as he sets everything up and I push them into the couch to hide their frantic movement. I ache to explain how perfect he is, how patient and kind and gentle, how he has nothing to be ashamed of. I stare at him as if I can project it into his mind. But I know better than anyone that fear can’t be controlled with words.

He glances sideways at me as he sets the remote control down on the table.

“I’ve never told anyone about this,” he says. “Not the whole sob story. I mean, Fitzie knows because he was there to see it play out in real time. I’ve never said it out loud to anyone else. Not even in prison. It’s stupid, but… I still felt like I’d be betraying Jasper if I let it spill.”

He slumps into the couch again. I shuffle closer, lifting his arm so I can squeeze in underneath. He huffs in amusement, in spite of the shadows still in his eyes.

I pause when I’m nose to nose with him. “Thank you for telling me.”

His dark eyes search mine. “You mean that.”

“I want to know everything about you,” I tell him honestly.

A smile flickers over his lips. “Me, too. About you, I mean. The good. The bad. The quirks that make youyou.The little things no one else has ever gotten to see. All of it gets stored away up here.” He taps his temple, this time no bitterness in his eyes. Only clear, gentle warmth.

I can’t help leaning in, breathing in the air that he breathes out, nudging my lips against his, my heart fluttering. Ezra kisses me back so gently and carefully that I feel like the wings of my heart will burst out of my chest and engulf the whole world.

29

EZRA

Taken out by a cold. I still can’t believe it. The heaviness in my chest isn’t just from an overload of emotions — I’m also stuffed to the brim with decongestants.

The familiar banter between the two firefighter brothers plus Lysander’s weight on me lull me almost to sleep. Lysander stays awake, watching the show avidly. I’ve introduced it during a couple movie nights — the ones where it’s just us, cause I don’t need to get shit from the guys about how the monsters are unrealistic — and he becomes absolutely glued to the TV. It’s kind of sweet.

When the episode ends, he props himself up. His sparkling blue eyes are contemplative.

“You said your friend is staying with you.”

“Yeah, Fitzie. He’s my best friend. His name’s actually Felix Fitzsimmons.” I cradle both hands behind my head. I do feel a bit better. Even my sniffles have calmed down. Lysander’s nearness is soothing, the familiar weight of his body grounding me. It’s funny, around him, I feel so even-keeled — like I get to be the rock he needs. “We grew up neighbors and went to thesame school. He’s stuck with me through a lot. Like I said, he had a hard life, too.”

A really hard life. His dad was an asshole just like Jasper’s dad, but unlike Jasper, Fitzie didn’t run away. He stood up to the man.

For his trouble, he landed in the hospital.

After that he got himself emancipated. His dad is still around, living in the same house, but Fitzie’s been on his own ever since — another reason for me to feel like shit about prison, because I left him alone for all that time.

“He moved out of Greenriver a few years back. He’s a teacher at some fancy dance school now — was a teacher, I guess, since he quit. He’s staying here until he gets his feet under him.”