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I wanted to pretend it wouldn’t hurthim.

But I know how he looks at me. I felt his despair when he went limp in my arms, his face horribly blank except for a fraction of a second where it all shone through.Fuck.I couldn’t help the words that tore out of me in the moment. What if I’ve made it worse?

It’s the truth though.

I love Lysander. My sweet, gorgeous, scorching hot prince. I’minlove with him. And I don’t know where the hell to go from here.

Fitzie gets back in the afternoon. I hear the door open and his borrowed keys clatter on the counter. There’s a thud as he kicks his boots off. I bury my face in the pillow. Maybe he won’t notice anything’s wrong.

I don’t really want to talk.

I haven’t even thought about how this is gonna affect my bank account. If I can’t go back to The Sanctum, I can’t earn a paycheck. Can’t do rent. Can’t make my payments to the non-profit. I’m gonna need another job, but the thought makes me want to crawl into a hole.

There’s a knock at the bedroom door, interrupting my self-pity session.

“Ez, are you alive?” He actually sounds worried.

I cover my head with the pillow.

“Orion told me what happened. I’m coming in.”

Damn it.I knew this would be a side effect of introducing Fitzie to Orion — both of them are gossip hounds, and obviously nothing’s a secret in the monster world. I want to be glad they’re getting along, but right now it just hurts. I leave my head stuffed under the pillow, not ready to face him.

Fitzie gets on the bed with a sigh, his knees stabbing me in the ribs accidentally.

“Only you, Ez.”

“Fuck off,” I mumble into the mattress.

“I don’t think I will.” He snorts. “I’m generouslynotsaying I told you so.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“So, what, you’re not allowed to see him anymore? Smells like bullshit.”

I groan at hearing my own words pitched back at me. “It’s their law.”

“Is this some kind of Meghan Markle crap? You’re good enough to work for monsters but not good enough to marry into their royal family?”

“It’s not like that.” I toss the pillow away with a sigh. He’s not going to leave me be, and part of me admits I love him for it. “They’re trying to protect their whole world. If something happens to me, things could go really badly for them. What if a bunch of humans decided to take up the pitchforks?”

“Okay, but that’s not your responsibility,” Fitzie points out. “We live in civil society. There are laws against that kind of thing.”

“It’s not my call either, though.”

Fitzie sighs and falls silent. The cover shifts every so often while he tugs it back and forth. A wave of deep sadness rises through my chest.

“Plus, humans aren’t exactly known for their massive tolerance of different types of people, are they? Case in point.” I wave at myself. “And not to make this weird, but… you haven’t even put on the amulet once. The only other human I know who’s part of this world is Owyn Maddox, and he’s clearly a bit of a wacko. Who’s to say the people in chargewouldn’tcome afterthem with pitchforks? I can’t blame them for not wanting to take the chance.”

“Okay, first of all, there’s a big difference between chasing monsters with pitchforks and being a teeny, tiny bit scared to see what they really look like.”

I look over at Fitzie, who’s staring at his toes. “You’re scared?”

“Shut up. What did I say?”

I grab his legs, shaking him gently. “I was scared too. It’s fine. I don’t want to pressure you.”

“It’s just a lot,” Fitzie mutters. “My best friend tells me monsters are real, then suddenly one of them is your boyfriend and others are my friends — and some of them arehot as hell.I just don’t want to ruin anything.”