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Yes

Please

I tap the call button before I can think too hard and change my mind.

I haven’t physically phoned anyone in years. Just knowing I’m about to hear him sends a tingle down my spine.

Finally, his lilting voice makes it to my ear.

“Ezra?”

“Hi,” I rasp.

“You’re there.”

“I’m here, baby.” I grip the phone too hard as I pull the covers over my head and make a cave. The device Syril gave him is ancient and doesn’t have video, or I’d demand to see his face right now. “You sound good.”

He lets out a little hiccup, and my stomach drops.

“Lysander, don’t —”

A suspicious sniff follows, and then silence.

“I want to see you,” he says suddenly.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I tell him, even though my gut reaction is an immediateyes. Doing what my heart told me was what got us in trouble in the first place.

“I know.” There’s another long, suspicious pause, and the ache to pull him into my arms grows. “I just want to.”

“Me too.” I close my eyes and listen to his breathing, pretending he’s right next to me. “There’s a Watcher outside my apartment building. I guess they figure we’ll try to break the rules.”

“That’s ridiculous,” he huffs. “I’m a prince. I don’t break rules, I just make new ones.”

I have to smile. “Not in this case, baby.”

“I know. I wish it was that easy.” He sighs.

His words stick in my head long after we hang up. I’ve never been good at following the rules — I’m all about what feels right in the moment, and I’ve paid for it. I’m trying to do better. But a part of me still harbors annoying little doubts, likedo the rules make sense?It doesn’t seem fair Lysander has to suffer becauseImight be in danger. He’s in a lot more danger. The azeroths literally want to suck his life force out.

Then there’s the other big question:what’s the worst that could happen?

Going to court was hard, and prison sucked, and life was rough when I got out. But over and over again, the toughest thing — the thing that sent me spiraling while I lay awake in the cab of the truck, staring at the moon over the river — wasn’t doing the time, struggling to pay back my debt, or failing to hold down a job.

It was remembering the moment I realized I was alone. Holding that phone to my ear and hearing it ring out. Knowing the person who was supposed to care about me had discarded me.

With Lysander, I’m safe.

38

LYSANDER

“You still awake?” Ezra murmurs in my ear, his voice distorted by distance.

“I miss you,” I tell him, like I do every day. He never says it back, but that’s okay. It’s obvious to me.

“What have you read today?”

“Nothing.” I pull the blanket close against the evening breeze coming through the window screen. Ezzy the bunny watches me from the night table. “Too tired from all my exciting activities.”