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Ezra’s heartbeat is swift in my ear.

“Not sure that was meant to be part of your aftercare,” he murmurs.

“Maybe it should be,” I return. A tiny smile creeps up my lips. He chuckles, the vibrations soothing.

17

EZRA

Shimmering dust streaks my arms, even after I shower. In my dingy bathroom it glitters like gold.

Sheepishly, I lift my arm to my nose and sniff.

It definitely has his scent — faint, but sweet.

I have to pinch myself. Did that really happen? I gave him his first ever orgasm? But the memory is real —crisp.His weight on top of me, his moan in my ear. The way he gripped my cock, tentative but eager. Fuck — even the confident hunger in his last kiss.

I’ve had him in my arms before, but feeling him shudder under my hands hammered it home. He’s not a fairytale creature. He has wants and needs.

And me, well, I want more. Without a doubt. The dumb voice in my head keeps repeatingmine, mine, minelike a freaking caveman. But I told myself I was gonna be a friend, and here I am helping him past his virginity.

If Lysander’s nightmares are anything to go by, he doesn’t need the complication of an actual relationship. Maybe this was just a one-off, and that’s fine. Maybe he’ll want to do it again, and that’s also fine.More than fine,my hindbrain insists.

I’m here to go with the flow, wherever that takes us.

Fitzie would tell me to have an adult conversation. But he’d also be the one to fuck a guy and ignore his own feelings until it blew up in his face, so I’m confident ignoring the little voice in my head that sounds like him.

My phone buzzes against the edge of the sink, another call notification from an anonymous number. Collectors aren’tsupposedto call at all hours, but who the hell am I to tell them what they’re not allowed to do? I let it ring out as I towel my hair dry. If I cared less I’d block the number, but I’m actually shit-scared they’re going to sue me, which would mean more court fees and ultimately, most likely, more of my wage going directly into someone else’s pocket. I need to figure out what to do, and quick.

Fitzie gave me the numbers of some groups that could help, but I go back and forth between being too embarrassed to dial the number and feeling like it’s a cop-out.

It’s my debt, caused by my own bad decisions. I should be able to pay it.

I tug on a henley and a pair of jeans and comb my hair back. Sometimes I feel like I’m living two separate lives — one where I’m a complete dumpster fire of a human who can’t manage to wash his own cereal bowl and keeps ducking Very Important Calls from people with the means to sue the legs out from under him, maybe even literally… and one where a gorgeous, sweet, flexible guy who just happens to be a fairy prince needs regular cuddles from me and only me, and nobody seems to give a fuck about my past.

None of them know everything, except maybe Syril. Maybe Orion too. I get the feeling Orion knows everything about everyone. But neither of them have judged me, either.

They might judge me more for deflowering their prince,the errant thought pops up. I wince. But Lysander isn’t just a prince — he’s his own person, and he deserves to be treated like it.

I’m not ready to tell him all the ugly details, starting from when I met Jasper to that moment on the bathroom floor with the cops pounding the door down, and I might never be ready. Just like he hasn’t talked about the things in his past that haunt him and give him relentless nightmares.

I trace the gold lines on my arm.

I want to know about them. I want to protect him.

But if I’m gonna be worthy of that, I have to pick up the phone and make an important call.

18

LYSANDER

Ican’t believe he touched me like that.

I can’t believe I practicallybeggedhim to.

All I want is to see him again. To dothatagain. The wait feels infernally long.

I wake from a dreamless sleep at the crack of dawn. Instead of my usual routine, I head to the aviary, taking big draws of the sharp morning air to clear away my racing thoughts. Driven into furious action, I sweep the space, clean out all the snack bowls and refill them with fresh vegetables and fruit, tidy the crooked roosts, and check the eaves of the aviary for nests. The pigeons hop about, disturbed by the audacity of my ruthless excavation.