Page 144

Meredith kisses along my neck. “Maybe. But I think we’re the lucky ones.”

Meredith and I make rushed and quiet but sweet love in the hotel bed, falling asleep soon after.

A few days later, I sneak out alone and, without telling Meredith, and go back to see Madame Bouvier.

“Sit, son, if you want your palm read.”

“I’m not sure this is real.”

“You’re at least a little sure, if you’re here,” she jokes, and takes my hand, humming as she traces her fingernail over the lines on my palm.

Then she places it down on the table.

“You’re a good man.”

My eyes fill with tears.

“A good husband. Father. You worry too much, but it’s okay. You are enough. You are perfect for them.”

And just like that, I’m crying. I pay her a thousand dollars for my reading, and I know I’ll never regret it. Not once.

* * *

Roland Gregory Matthewsis born six and a half months later, and my family is complete.

I finally feel good enough to be a father, to be Meredith’s husband. Strange to think a fortune teller went a long way to helping me realize that.

Maybe there’s a part of me who will never believe I’m good enough, for Meredith, for the kids, for my wealth–for any of it. Just like there’s a part of me that believes my father didn’t love me, even though on his deathbed, he said he did. Said he always tried to be better.

And, in the end, isn’t that what’s important? Trying to be better?

I may not always succeed, but I try every moment I live, every breath I take.

I’ll never stop trying to be the man my family deserves, and maybe I’m close enough.

Meredith kisses me and jolts me back to reality.

“You were a million miles away.”

“No. I’m here with you, princess. Always. Right where I belong.”

As I kiss her again, I think of Madame Bouvier and Grayson and Mallory and all the people who forced us apart and got us back together again. The world kept spinning when I left Meredith, but it was a dim world.

Now, everything feels so bright you’d think it would hurt my eyes. And I hope it only shines brighter every day.