Page 51

Tess
2009
I knewhe’d be back.
I might be completely out of my depth when it comes to whatever the hell is happening with Declan Gilroy but I know whatever it is feels inevitable.
Terrifying.
Exhilarating.
Like I’m playing chicken with a hurricane.
So, when I see his size fourteens planted on the garage floor, six inches from my face, I’m not surprised. I don’t ask him what he’s doing here. What he wants. I don’t tell him to leave. To leave me alone because I already tried that and it didn’t work.
And if I’m being honest, I’m glad it didn’t.
Because I don’t want him to leave me alone.
I want him here.
With me.
Regardless of the aftermath.
I fit the lid to the Taurus’s oil pan back in place and tighten the wing nut used to keep it secure. I use the heel of my boot to push my creeper forward and out from under the car I’m working on.
It’s late. Nearly one o’clock in the morning. Technically Wednesday morning but close enough to Tuesday night that I can still pretend that I might get more than a few hours sleep before I have to get up for school. My dad went to bed a while ago. Sometimes I think he forgets that I’m still in high school.
“Con was here.” It’s not an accusation but even though he doesn’t sound angry, he doesn’t look at me when he says it. He’s sitting on the garage floor, back leaned against the bench with my toolbox on it. Shadrach is curled up on his massive chest, purring so loud she sounds like a semi-truck.
I roll myself out from under the car far enough to sit up. “He was.” I plant my boots to stop myself from rolling back. “He left a few hours ago,” I say, even though I have a feeling he knows exactly when his brother left. My guess is he didn’t go home. I’d bet my toolbox he went straight to Henley’s to camp out on her fire escape.
“I’m sorry.” It sounds weird coming out of his mouth. Strained and rusty. Like he means it but doesn’t want to. “About the other day. I know how Con is and I just—”
“Got jealous.” I’m not stupid enough to think his reaction to seeing me with his brother was about me. Whatever that was, it was about Conner. How he feels about him. “Don’t worry. Your brother isn’t trying to get in my pants.”
“Don’t let the dimples fool you. Con is an indiscriminate whore.” He grinds the last couple of words through clenched teeth. “He doesn’t care who he fucks or who he hurts.”
“And you do?”
The question hits him hard. So hard he doesn’t answer me. He just sits there and stares at me for a minute. Finally, he clears his throat. “What’s that supposed to mean.”
“Your brother isn’t the only Gilroy I’ve heard stories about.” I shrug, pretending that I don’t have a few of my own.
“Oh, yeah?” The corner of his mouth lifts in a smirk. “And just what kind of stories have you heard about me, Tesla?”
“You’re not a nice guy.” I’ve heard more. Worse. Things that should make me nervous, just being alone with him. Things that should make me feel lucky that I escaped relatively unscathed the last time I was.
“Is that it?” He laughs. Looks away. “I’m not a nice guy?” He sounds amused but he isn’t. He’s angry. I can see it in the hard set of his jaw. The way the hand resting on his thigh clenches into a fist. “You already know that.”
He’s right. I do.
“You hate your brother.” He doesn’t deny it. “You used Henley. Manipulated her to hurt him.” It’s nothing I haven’t said to him before. I think maybe I’m trying to remind myself of why I shouldn’t be feeling anything but anger where Declan Gilroy is concerned. Why how I really feel when I look at him is wrong. When he doesn’t answer me, I clear my throat. “What about me?”
He finally looks at me, a scowl planted on his face. “What about you?”
“Why are you here?” I ask him but it’s not what I want to know. I want to know if he’s going to hurt me. Use me like he does everyone else, but I don’t ask because I’m afraid of his answer.