Page 122 of Desserts for Stressed People

The Gratitude of the Aftermath

I walktoward the café down the trafficked street. Today, I finished working early, so I can enjoy the pleasant warmth of the sun above my head and the unusual vitality of the city center over the weekend.

Alex is sitting at the last table on the right, and as he sees me, he gets up.

With a wave, I join him. “Hi, thank you for meeting me.”

“It’s no problem. Can I get you a coffee?” He moves his hand up to call the attention of the waiter, who’s serving a man a few tables away. When he approaches us, I ask for a coffee with milk, and once again, I’m alone with Alex.

My stomach churns as he rubs his hands together, and every time we look at each other, we smile in an awkward and forced way.

“So...Have you thought about my question?” he asks.

“Alex...”

“Isn’t that why you wanted to meet?”

“In part.” I cross my legs and focus my gaze on him. “Despite everything, I believe we shouldn’t end our five-year relationship on such a sour note.”

He blows out a breath that rattles his lips. “Let me guess...That guy broke up with you, and now you’re here to beg.” I gape at him, but before I can speak, he raises both hands. “That’s okay. We both made mistakes, and—”

“You’re right,” I interrupt. I’m afraid if I let him talk, I won’t go through with it at all. “We’ve both made mistakes, and I’m here to apologize about mine.”

The waiter brings my coffee over, and after I mumble a “Thank you,” he walks away, leaving Alex and me in yet another uncomfortable silence. Maybe this was a bad idea. We’ve been here for two minutes and I already want to strangle him.

“Listen,” I say as I stare at the dark brew in my cup. I really want to do this, so I’ll give it a real chance. “I’m not here to decide whether to get back together. I know it’s a horrible thing to say, but since we broke up, I’ve been happier. Our relationship went south years ago.” He opens his mouth, and I move my hand to his. “Still, you deserve an apology. I shouldn’t have gone behind your back. I should have talked to you, faced you, when I learned about RadaR.”

“I was never on—”

“I know.” With a smile, I let his hand go. “I know you weren’t. And if I’d just talked to you, if I’d just been honest...” I sigh.

“Why didn’t you, then?”

“Honestly, I was afraid if I broke up with you, you wouldn’t pay your half of the lease, and I’d end up in debt and kicked out of the apartment.”

“You really think I’m that horrible?” he asks, his brows steeply curved over his eyes.

With a scoff, I cross my arms. “Well, thatisexactly what you said after I broke up with you.”

He rolls his eyes but says nothing.

“In any case, I should have faced this better. I should have been honest and straightforward, and I’m sorry I wasn’t. About us, about Shane. I should have talked to you.”

He nods, but his gaze doesn’t meet mine. After what feels like a whole minute, he looks up, his lips wobbling. “I’m sorry too, Heaven. I know I should have done better.”

With a tiny smile, I grip my cup and take a sip. There’s lots we need to discuss, such as what to do with the apartment, the car. What to tell our families and our friends. After five years, so much of our lives are intertwined that it’ll take a while to figure it all out.

“I—I was never on RadaR,” he says with a sniffle. “I’d never join a dating app. But I did cheat on you...more than once.”

My heart throbs in my chest as I set the cup down. There isn’t much of a reason for it. I guess it’s knowing I’m about to get the truth, finally.

“I slept with Pauline. Every day at work, she just...she kept flirting with me.” He grimaces. “I’m not trying to blame her—I know it’s my fault. But it had been so long since I felt like someone actually wanted me that I started wanting her too. Until I went to a work dinner a couple of months ago, drank a little too much. She kissed me and...and I couldn’t stop her. That’s how it started. We met a few times at a hotel downtown since then.”

The Silverton hotel, where Emma saw the two of them.

“Were you ever going to tell me, Alex?” I breathe. “I confronted you about it, and you lied.”

He fidgets with the spoon in his cup. “Because I didn’t want to lose you. I know it doesn’t make sense, but Idolove you. I don’t want to be with her. The minute we were done, I wanted her gone. I wanted you there.”