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“Love you.” I hang up, counting my heartbeats until they no longer hurt. Then I keep counting, waiting for the fear to subside.
It’s eerily quiet and the room is suddenly too small.
“Amelia?” Caleb’s gruff voice hits me like a train, threatening to knock me over.
I sniff, collecting my emotions. “Hmm?”
He stands, approaching me slowly. “What’s going on in that curious mind of yours?”
“Oh, um, just wondering, do you think Liam would kill for that painting? What if he did and he—”
“Amelia,” Caleb stops me. “I don’t care about the painting or Liam right now. I care about you.”
Something in his words cracks through my resolve. A tear slips down my cheek and I suck in a breath. “I’m fine. I am. It’s just…” I swallow. “Sometimes I get tired of pretending I don’t need anyone is all.” I shrug a shoulder, but the way Caleb’s studying me I know he can see right through my false bravado. “My brother and I used to play this game where we both thought we could take care of the other, but now that he has Maddie, it’s different. They take care of each other. I want that life. I want to find that person who will want me for who I am. All of me. The crazy included.” His brows furrow and I hurry to continue. “I mean I get why they don’t, I’m kind of a lot. And I make stupid mistake—”
He stops me with a hand on my cheek, stealing the tear there. “I have never once thought of you as too much. I like that you don’t hide who you are. You’re always the purest and most unafraid version of yourself.” His gaze darts to my lips.
If he doesn’t pull away, I might attack him.
My chest constricts. He’s pushed me away enough. It’s time for me to start showing some restraint.
“You don’t have to say things you don’t believe because you feel bad for me. But thank you.”
He pulls back to look into my eyes.
“Amelia.” He stops my rambling, but no doubt only for a moment. “I’ve been intimidated by you ever since I met you.” His voice is strong, yet somehow soft at the same time. “You may be a menace, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy being caught up in your tornado.”
That’s officially my new favorite compliment. I catch my breath, waiting, letting him control this instead of taking charge like I really want to.
He brushes a strand of hair out of my face. “The only problem with you…” His voice drops so low I can feel it in my soul. He inches closer. “Is that I can’t get you out of my head.”
That sounds like everything I’ve been dying to hear. I lick my lips, readying myself for whatever might come my way.
His eyes track the movement of my mouth and he inches closer still, then abruptly stops.
“Why is that a problem?” I challenge.
“Because.” He drops his gaze and takes a step back. “You’re too good for me, Amelia. Trust me. You don’t want me. I can’t have something like this.” He looks back at me, his eyes haunted and hollow.
One minute I’m flying high, the next I’m six feet below. I can barely catch my breath around this man. “Why?”
He shoves a hand through his hair but doesn’t say anything, so I press harder. This isn’t about me, it’s about him, and his past. Something I know very little of.
“Because of your dad?”
His jaw clenches and he nods. “My father was a criminal, but never convicted,” he says. He paces the room from the desk to the door before he speaks again. “He stole from everyone he claimed to love, especially my mother.”
“That’s awful.” I grab his hand, forcing him to stop pacing and face me.
He shakes his head. “He’d leave with my mother’s savings in tow, only returning when he ran out of people to con. He stole from her, from me, from every single one of our neighbors. I never understood why my mother let him come back, but I think it was for me because despite how many times he used us, I kept hoping next time he’d change. It was stupid.”
“No, it’s not. All kids want their parents to stay.” That’s one of a child’s basic needs, to have a nurturing parent to care for them and protect them from harm. Not inflict it.
So many things make sense now. His career path for one, but also why he’s so afraid to give his heart to me, afraid I might take off with it. And afraid to trust himself with mine.
“I’d never take advantage of you.” I squeeze his hand.
He lifts an amused brow. “You were feeling my pecs this morning.”