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“That’s amazing. I like kids, but I couldn’t imagine watching twenty of them all day every day.”
“My mom’s always been talented that way. She could be in an empty room and still find something fun for everyone to do. And she’s one of those people who never makes you feel stupid about having questions. My sister wasn’t very good in school, but Mom worked with her every night on her homework because she was too embarrassed to ask for help in class. Helped her self-esteem a lot.”
Henrietta tilted her head. “She sounds amazing. My mom’s main strategy for homework was to sit us at the kitchen table and stand over us with a wooden spoon.” Hen laughed. “Johmarcus especially needed the motivation.”
“My brother Rhett was the same way. But Johmarcus seemed to have plenty of motivation today,” I said.
“He’s grown a lot.” She stirred the meat. “Back when he was younger, he was always about to become rich on some scheme. It cost him and my parents a lot.”
I nodded. “Some lessons are harder to learn than others.”
“True.” She turned and retrieved two bowls from the cabinet, then dished them for us. The smell wafting from the dish she passed to me made my mouth water. “This looks delicious, and you made whipping it all together seem so effortless.”
She smiled. “You flatter me, Tyler Griffen.”
“You make it easy.”
43
Henrietta
Confession: I’m terrified of losing my virginity.
We’d eaten our fajitas.We’d drunk our beer.
I was warm and buzzing with electricity.
And I’d never been more nervous in my life.
I pushed abruptly back from the island and said, “I’m going to use the bathroom.”
“Sure, I’ll take care of the dishes.” He winked.
I shook my head at him because, gah, he wasn’t allowed to be sexyandkindanddo the dishes because he knew I hated them.
My breath picked up as I walked to the bathroom and shut myself inside. Was I really going to lose my virginity to Tyler? Tonight? And what would he think when he saw me naked? Would he change his mind? Had he been with big girls like me before? Would he know to expect the stretch marks and dimples and rolls? Or would it all scare him away?
I wished I was more like Mara and Birdie, confident in my size. But even if I didn’t have their confidence, I did have them at my fingertips, so I sent them a text.
Henrietta: SOS. I’M ABOUT TO HAVE SEX WITH TYLER AND I’M FREAKING TF OUT!
Mara: What happened? What’s wrong?
Birdie: I’m here too.
Henrietta: What if he doesn’t like my body?
Mara: Henrietta. You’re fat. Your clothes don’t hide that.
I cringed at her calling me fat. I knew to her it was just a word, a descriptor, but when people had used those three letters to insult you your entire life, it was hard to get used to thinking of the word any other way.
Mara: And being fat isn’t a bad thing.
Birdie: Exactly. Cohen loves my curves. Honey, I don’t think Tyler would be so into you if he didn’t like your size.
Mara: ^^^ I know it sounds cliché, but there’s literally more of you for him to love... and play with. ;)
My cheeks were getting hot. Was I really ready for this? What if...