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I left the waiting room, finding Tyler leaning against a wall. At the sound of opening doors, he glanced over and quickly straightened when he saw it was me.
“Tyler.” I allowed myself a selfish moment, falling into his hug as tears fell down my cheeks. Would this really be the last time I felt his arms around me? The last time his lips feathered kisses on my forehead.
“How is she?” he asked, stepping back.
I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to stay strong. “She’s going for surgery. And she has a DNR, Tyler.”
He didn’t seem surprised. “My grandpa has one too.”
“Why would she do that?” I asked, hoping he would see my side.
Instead, he replied, “Maybe she misses her husband.”
Emotion swelled within me, taking over my every thought. “How could you say that? She’s better off dead with her husband than alive with us? No one even knows what happens after you die! What if you’re just supporting her to go into oblivion for eternity?”
I stopped, my chest heaving as I waited for his response. The kindness in his green eyes just made me that much angrier.
“It’s her decision, Hen.”
“It’s a bad one,” I snapped.
His voice was gentle. “In your opinion.”
I glared at him. “What are you doing here anyway? I said you could go home.”
A crease formed between his brow, and I hated how tired he looked with circles under his eyes and scruff on his chin. “I couldn’t leave you here, Hen. I wanted to be here for you.”
“Why?” I demanded, my voice breaking. “Why are we doing this? Someday, your job is going to be done here, and you’ll be on the road again. Were you just expecting me to follow you wherever you go? Give up on being here for my family and my career so I could be some sort of housewife? Why did you do it?” I demanded.
“I couldn’t stay away from you,” he yelled, his voice tortured. He put his hand on the wall by my shoulder, holding the other against his chest. “I love you, and I don’t want this to end. I meant what I said when I told my mom we’d figure it out. I know it’s hard to see an answer right now, but if we put our heads together, we can—”
“We canwhat?” I argued, tears streaming down my cheeks. Why was he so fucking perfect and understanding? Why couldn’t he be like every other asshole who my grandma tried to set me up with? Why did he make saying goodbye so damn hard?
“We can be together!”
“Until the job is done,” I bit back.
He shook his head. “Hen, I got fired this morning.”
The words took the air out of my chest. “What?”
“Janessa had them look at security footage of us, and they found some incriminating video. Jim let me go to keep the contract with Blue Bird. I’m supposed to be out of the apartment by Sunday.”
My mouth fell open and closed as the words hit my brain, one after another, like hail shattering on a sidewalk. He’d lost his job—and would be moving out of Emerson in two days.
He took my hands in his, my arms feeling wooden as he spoke. “I can get an apartment here, try to find a job. Or I could bring you back to Texas, we could start a life, a family. I know it’s soon, but I love you, Hen. I don’t want to live without you. I don’t want to fuck around with long distance and video calls and seeing each other on the weekends. And I know you have a job here, but Janessa won’t stop at me. Not when she has video proof. You could find a job in Cottonwood Falls. Or I could support you. I know the timing isn’t great with your grandma being in the hospital, but I know Gage would help us with flights to visit her. You could come visit every weekend if you wanted to. I just want to be with you.” His voice cracked at the end because he knew what he was asking. He was asking the impossible.
“We can’t live with my parents,” I said.
“I’ll pull my investments.”
“You can’t do that,” I said.
“Then come with me,” he begged, his molten hazel eyes on mine.
“I can’t do that,” I cried. Our relationship was ending. Right here in the hospital hallways, with families walking by and workers in scrubs acting like my world wasn’t falling apart. But it was. Piece by fucking piece. “My grandma could live for years with a broken hip, Tyler. I have savings, but I can’t afford to take a gap in employment if I still have a job on Monday. My family’s going to need me around to help. My parents still work. My brothers have jobs, families. They can’t do it all on their own. They need me.”
Tyler’s gaze darted over me. “Do they really need you? Or are you looking for a reason to run?”
“Tyler.” I allowed myself a selfish moment, falling into his hug as tears fell down my cheeks. Would this really be the last time I felt his arms around me? The last time his lips feathered kisses on my forehead.
“How is she?” he asked, stepping back.
I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to stay strong. “She’s going for surgery. And she has a DNR, Tyler.”
He didn’t seem surprised. “My grandpa has one too.”
“Why would she do that?” I asked, hoping he would see my side.
Instead, he replied, “Maybe she misses her husband.”
Emotion swelled within me, taking over my every thought. “How could you say that? She’s better off dead with her husband than alive with us? No one even knows what happens after you die! What if you’re just supporting her to go into oblivion for eternity?”
I stopped, my chest heaving as I waited for his response. The kindness in his green eyes just made me that much angrier.
“It’s her decision, Hen.”
“It’s a bad one,” I snapped.
His voice was gentle. “In your opinion.”
I glared at him. “What are you doing here anyway? I said you could go home.”
A crease formed between his brow, and I hated how tired he looked with circles under his eyes and scruff on his chin. “I couldn’t leave you here, Hen. I wanted to be here for you.”
“Why?” I demanded, my voice breaking. “Why are we doing this? Someday, your job is going to be done here, and you’ll be on the road again. Were you just expecting me to follow you wherever you go? Give up on being here for my family and my career so I could be some sort of housewife? Why did you do it?” I demanded.
“I couldn’t stay away from you,” he yelled, his voice tortured. He put his hand on the wall by my shoulder, holding the other against his chest. “I love you, and I don’t want this to end. I meant what I said when I told my mom we’d figure it out. I know it’s hard to see an answer right now, but if we put our heads together, we can—”
“We canwhat?” I argued, tears streaming down my cheeks. Why was he so fucking perfect and understanding? Why couldn’t he be like every other asshole who my grandma tried to set me up with? Why did he make saying goodbye so damn hard?
“We can be together!”
“Until the job is done,” I bit back.
He shook his head. “Hen, I got fired this morning.”
The words took the air out of my chest. “What?”
“Janessa had them look at security footage of us, and they found some incriminating video. Jim let me go to keep the contract with Blue Bird. I’m supposed to be out of the apartment by Sunday.”
My mouth fell open and closed as the words hit my brain, one after another, like hail shattering on a sidewalk. He’d lost his job—and would be moving out of Emerson in two days.
He took my hands in his, my arms feeling wooden as he spoke. “I can get an apartment here, try to find a job. Or I could bring you back to Texas, we could start a life, a family. I know it’s soon, but I love you, Hen. I don’t want to live without you. I don’t want to fuck around with long distance and video calls and seeing each other on the weekends. And I know you have a job here, but Janessa won’t stop at me. Not when she has video proof. You could find a job in Cottonwood Falls. Or I could support you. I know the timing isn’t great with your grandma being in the hospital, but I know Gage would help us with flights to visit her. You could come visit every weekend if you wanted to. I just want to be with you.” His voice cracked at the end because he knew what he was asking. He was asking the impossible.
“We can’t live with my parents,” I said.
“I’ll pull my investments.”
“You can’t do that,” I said.
“Then come with me,” he begged, his molten hazel eyes on mine.
“I can’t do that,” I cried. Our relationship was ending. Right here in the hospital hallways, with families walking by and workers in scrubs acting like my world wasn’t falling apart. But it was. Piece by fucking piece. “My grandma could live for years with a broken hip, Tyler. I have savings, but I can’t afford to take a gap in employment if I still have a job on Monday. My family’s going to need me around to help. My parents still work. My brothers have jobs, families. They can’t do it all on their own. They need me.”
Tyler’s gaze darted over me. “Do they really need you? Or are you looking for a reason to run?”
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