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I fought back tears and smiled. “Let’s just focus on today.”
65
Henrietta
Confession: I can do hard things... as long as there’s an end in sight.
It tookall I had to leave the hospital to get ready for work on Monday morning. Partly because I didn’t want to leave my grandma’s side, but also because I had no idea what would greet me at the office.
Janessa had been on radio silence all weekend. I kept waiting for her to call me, tell me Tyler was fired, that they had hired a new site manager, but... nothing.
So I went home, walked up the ramp Tyler had helped my family install, treaded on the brand-new flooring Tyler had donated, and cried in the shower. He was everywhere. From the renovations on the house to the photobooth strips of pictures I hung up on my mirror. Not to mention the stabbing ache in my heart.
I missed him so much already it was hard to breathe. But I had to be okay with my decision. Okay with the fact that I needed to let him go because I needed to be near my family, and he needed to be near his. He’d offered to move here, but I didn’t want him resenting me down the road because he’d given up what I couldn’t.
I wore a black dress to work and drove my car down the freeway. When the heat gauge popped up to the danger zone, I got pulled off to the side of the road, waiting for the radiator to cool off so I could add some water. Tyler wasn’t there to drive by and save me.
I parked in front of the office, but noticed through the window that there were two people inside... Janessa and a man I didn’t recognize. Dread filled my gut. Janessa hardly ever came out here. Especially not this early on a Monday morning. This couldn’t be good.
Taking a steady breath to steel myself, I pushed through the door, bells chiming overhead. Janessa turned toward me, an evil smile curling her lips. I’d never really considered her a friend, but we’d worked together for eight years, and I’d never seen this side of her. Just another knife, this one twisting in my back.
“Right on time,” Janessa said.
I glanced at the clock on the wall. I was five minutes early. “I wasn’t expecting you,” I said, still not sure who this guy was. He was muscular, nearly six feet tall, dressed in all black. “Are you the new site manager I’ll be working with?” I asked, extending my hand. “I’m Henrietta.”
The guy looked at my hand, his brown eyes cold.
I lowered my hand, and Janessa said, “Pierce is a security guard. It’s company policy to have two people present during a reprimanding.”
“A... reprimanding?” I asked. The word rolled around in my head, still not registering. She wasn’t firing me?
Janessa let out a cold chuckle. “Did you really think you could blow the construction manager on site with no repercussions? Corporate was very interested in your unprofessionalism, not to mention your lack of safety gear—and I don’t mean condoms. My ‘flirtation’ with Tyler isnothingcompared to what you did.”
Pierce stood stone-faced, not even flinching at her vulgarity.
“Unfortunately, they said your record has been so good over the last eight years, they didn’t want to fire you. Yet. You will be demoted from overseeing the construction process, which also means a cut in your pay. I’ll be here every day though to check in on construction—and you.”
My mouth opened and closed. I’d been all but ready to get fired and then beg on my knees for my job back. I’d been ready to swallow my pride, show up to work, and do my job, despite the way Janessa had spoken about me in Tyler’s apartment, and despite the fact that she clearly had no problem destroying his life out of sheer jealousy. But now I’d have to see her every day? And for how long?
There were a million bitten-back words I wanted to say to her. I wanted to tell her she was lewd, coming on to people who had no desire in her. That she was as fake as vegetable oil butter, treating me kindly until I did something to make her jealous. That she was fatphobic for considering herself the better pick based purely on looks.
But I closed my eyes, thinking of my grandma. How happy she had been when she found out she could come home... I could do this. For her.
66
Henrietta
Confession: I’m afraid I’ll forget what it feels like to be loved by him.
I lied to my family.
I told them I was spending a couple weeks with Tyler, but the truth was, I was staying with Mara and Jonas. Hiding out in their guest room was more like it. My heart was breaking, and I couldn’t hold in my pain all day long, go to work like I hadn’t just let go of the best thing that had happened to me, then continue to hold it together once I got home too.
I considered myself lucky to be born into the family I was, but meeting Tyler... it was once in a lifetime. And now that I’d let him go, I couldn’t flip the script and beg him back. I’d already broken that trust.
My life fell into a survival pattern.
Sleep in as long as I could.