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She pats my hand. “Ida did a good job with my boys.”
I grunt. “I didn’t mind. Her keeping us quiet, I mean.”
“Why not?”
“Because I let her down, and if that was what she needed to forgive me, then I’d have done anything to fix my fuckup.”
“Do you see how that might send her mixed signals though? If she wanted that, if she demanded that, the fact you’re so willing to keep her quiet probably rubs every single one of her insecurities raw.”
I hiss under my breath. “Women are complicated.”
“Men are too. I’ve seen how you look at her. I watched you during the wedding.” A wide grin beams from her as she peers at me. “I wanted to seethatlook on all my boys’ faces, and now I have—three times. It’s wonderful.” She presses a hand to her heart. “I love how in love you all are. I was so scared that what you were raised with... I don’t know, that it might affect that in you. That you’d be scared of intimacy.
“A part of me was terrified you’d be more like your father than me because he had so many opportunities to influence you—but you’re not like him. And you’re not like me. You’re not afraid to go after what you want. To take what’s yours. So that begs the question—why are you so content to keep things quiet?
“I know you said it was to give her what she needed, but that doesn’t mean you can’t resent it.”
“I do,” I mutter. “But I know Tee. She’s already let it loose to Zee and her nonna. Bast knows. Elena too, probably—if she can remember. Tee is incapable of keeping things quiet. I know it’ll come out at her own pace and with her people.”
“She was plenty quiet about our damn dogs.”
“Shut up.” Despite my concern for what just happened with Tee, I snicker and nudge Mum with my elbow. “You like yours.”
“I do now. But I’d have preferred the choice.”
“Yeah, Tee and Callan getting together is a nightmare made in hell for the Korhonens.”
“Wouldn’t be surprised if Cole ends up taking a dog home with him.”
“With all his and Mia’s cats? Nah.”
Mum hoots as she swirls her straw around the glass in her hand. “Why did you cut ties with her?”
“As her pen pal?”
“Yes.”
It’s not that easy to share the truth with Mum. Especially because if I’d called her when I was in the hospital, she would have been every bit as supportive as Tee would have been.
By the time I’m done, when I’ve shared how much of an asswipe Clyde is, how he fucked with my head while I was in a hospital bed, she’s turned her face into my jacket and is weeping.
I stare at the sky that blankets my home, so bright a blue it stings. “I needed to be angry and he gave me that. A part of me would like to think he did it on purpose, to motivate me, but that’s not how he works.”
“No, he likes to pour salt in the wound,” she mutters soggily. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, son. Again.”
“You would have been if I called you. I know that. Hell, I knew it then. I could have written to Tee and she’d have taken the next flight out. But I…”
I wanted to wallow. Jeez, did T rub off on Butch or what?
She pats my knee. “I know.”
“Do you?”
“I can understand even if I don’t like it. And to be honest, I think I can see Tee’s problem.
“That day of the BBQ, when she came here for the first time and she was so upset about getting her ‘Dear John’ letter—we all heard about it. She inadvertently advertised it to everyone with a McAllister and a Korhonen surname.
“That was family, but on a wider level, she’s embarrassed and afraid of falling flat on her face if you decide to change your mind. Imagine how it feels to believe you’re so in sync with someone, and then for that person to sever the link and not cauterize the wound.