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“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It is. You’re supposed to be juicy.”
Her teasing has me grinning at her. “It’s looking juicier than it did.”
“Good to know.” She chivvies, “Come on. You know you can tell me anything.”
I hold out my hand for the packet. Though she huffs, she does pass it to me, so I mumble, “I’m embarrassed.”
“We know that Sweet Lips—” Parker’s boyfriend. “—gave her a yeast infection when he stuck a sucker in her cooch, Tee. I’m not sure there’s anything more embarrassing than that!”
“I told her he was a dumbass. Who puts sugar near a vagina?”
“A guy called Sweet Lips, apparently. My point is, she shared that with us…” When I crunch a pecan, she sighs and, thankfully, leaves it alone. “How was it, being with Cody again? Has he apologized?”
“He apologized when he told me the truth.”
“Ahh. You’re still wallowing?”
I sniff.
“You know Parker would tell you to pull your head out of your ass and chase happiness.That’swhy you haven’t told her, isn’t it?”
I grace her with a second sniff.
“You told me because you knew I would let you wallow, didn’t you?”
Third sniff.
She tuts. “I won’t let you wallow forever. I can’t take any more of that mournful violin coming out of the den at night. It’s like living in a funeral parlor.”
“It’s a violino piccolo,” I correct. “And you can’t even hear it from your bedroom so don’t lie.”
“Sure I can. It comes through the vents. You try fucking your husband to a funeral march?—”
“Don’t be so dramatic!” My eyes widen when I realize what I just said. Both of us stare at one another and crack with laughter while I hoot, “I can’t believe I said that.”
“Yeah, Ms. Drama Queen.” Though she’s still cackling, Zee reasons, “You have to decide whether you’ll forgive him or not eventually, babe.”
The plastic wrapper crinkles in my hand as I toy with it. “I know.”
“Will you?”
I want to say no, but I can’t. “Probably.”
She snorts. “You don’thaveto.”
“Sure I do. He’s Butch.”
“But Butch isn’t who you thought he was.”
“That’s the thing... he is.” I pause to gather my thoughts but it’s tough. This is stuff I’ve never shared with anyone. Some of it, sure. But not in depth. “W-We never went into details, Zee. Not really. Everything was obliquely referenced. You were Z to him. He thought you were called Zoe, but he knows how much I love you from those letters alone. His insight into me is richer because of the letters.”
“And yours into him.”
“Yes, but I guess that’s half the struggle. The man I knew and the man I grew up around, they don’t slot together… but the whisper of both is loud.” My anxiety surges at the notion, but it doubles down when I realize I didn’t tell her one thing about this morning. “During Elena’s episode at the store, she mentioned that Clyde had hit Cody hard enough to potentially shatter his orbital bone.”
Her eyes widen. “Colt’s under the impression that he took the brunt of the beatings.”