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“Time passed and having you so close without knowing me like only you do was fucking painful. I had to tell you. I couldn’t live with this half-relationship. A part of me hoped we might be able to start afresh, but why would I want that when we were already so fucking good together?
“You’re so much better in real life, Tee. One of the reasons I wrote the letter was still in play, but you’reyou. I couldn’t resist you. The real you. As much as I picked up on in our letters, I could never have anticipated how you were more impactful in person.
“In the letters, you were 55% fireball, 45% sass. But in real life, you were 100% fireball, and I’ve never wanted to be burned so fucking much.
“When you pushed me in the water and then took my damn truck, it was such a classic T move that I’d have laughed if I didn’t know how badly I’d treated you.”
I cast her a quick look, hoping that my words are getting through to her. When I see her pouting, I take a deep, relievedbreath, certain that we’ve turned a corner that isn’t dog-related and requires no pens and paper.
“You deserved the dunking.”
“I did. Totally.”
“You’re lucky I came back.”
“I am. So lucky.”
She sniffs. “My nonna asked me why I wasn’t shouting at you. She said that when I received the letter, I must have wanted to ream you a new one, so why wasn’t I getting in your face?”
“I didn’t expect you to retreat. That was even worse. Anyone else, I’d have waded straight into battle with you.” Because we’ve reached the lake, I park then shift to face her. “Do you know that you make me question life? Shit I never fucking thought about before, you bring it to the front of my mind. I need you to understand that you’re unique and you make mechooseto be a better man.”
She blinks.
“And not because you’re hella smart, but because you’re fucking awesome. Everything about you. One of the reasons I said goodbye was because I knew you enough to recognize that you’d have planted yourself by my bedside and you’d have cursed at me until...” I swallow. “There were some dark days, Tee. I didn’t want you to have to be there to see that. It wasn’t your responsibility.Iwasn’t your responsibility.”
She studies the sandwich in her lap for so long that I lose hope of her replying, then: “You told me you loved photography.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Have you picked up a camera since you came home?”
“No.”
“Okay. I’ve decided on a multifaceted ceasefire with options for multiple offerings at an apology.”
I release a second relieved breath.
This is Tee—of course she has a strategy for an apology. “Hit me with it.”
“You can always say no.”
“If I wanted to say no, I’d have said it when I received your letter. Tell me.”
“Orgasms.”
“That I can do.”
“Yes, yes, you can,” she purrs. The drop in her tone has me hiding a grin.
“Liked it, did you?”
“You know I did.”
“The screams gave it away.”
“That’s not all.”
“I’m listening to the multifaceted apology strategy.”