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“Good,” she said with a smile. I felt her body move, lifting up higher. “Now push up on your toes, but don't think about it, just do it.”

Arching my feet, I felt stupid and ridiculous for doing what this girl was telling me to do. I felt my toes as they bent at the joint, I felt them fold as I looked up at the sky and watched the stars.

“See, there you go, you're doing it.” Taking a step to the side, Blue let me go, curling her arms proudly around her ribs.

Looking down, I was shocked to see that I was actually on the tips of my toes. “I'm really doing it, holy crap, I didn't think I could.” My body started to rock and I stumbled forward.

Blue threw her hands out and caught me. Using her to regain my balance, I couldn't stop from smiling. It felt good, it felt warm, it sent prickly tingles up and down my arms and legs.

I hadn't ever felt anything like that before. It was foreign, a weird feeling that I didn't recognize, so I tried to ignored it. Because it was easier to stuff the feelings that hit me than it was to deal with them.

All that stuff stopped the day I lost my mom, every emotion, every sensation that made you happy or sad, angry or nervous, they all faded away as I forced them down into the pit of my gut.

“Told you.” Letting me go, Blue bent down and grabbed her jar. “You up to try something else you've never done?” Rocking the jar back and forth, she held it up next to her cheek.

“I've caught fireflies before, it's just been a long time. My mother and I used to do it.”

“That's good then, we can catch all the fireflies in the world if you want.” She smiled as she said it, and that smile, well it did something to me.

My stomach grew warm, my chest constricted, and my heart began to beat just a little bit faster than normal. Little did I know that smile would be something I would come to desire, to need, to crave.

With thin lips, I smiled back at her. “Alright.”

Blue and I caught those little blinking bugs until the air grew cool and the moon was sitting high up in the sky. I had no idea what time it was, or exactly how long we had been out there, but I had enough mosquito bites to draw a constellation on my back if you connected the dots.

“Blue, time to come in!” her mother called from the front porch.

“I got to go, but here.” Passing me the jar, she started to head inside. “Don't forget to poke holes in the lid so they can breathe. And let them go in an hour or two. We won't have baby fireflies if they all die. I'll see you later, Jayden, this was fun.” Jogging up to her house, she disappeared around the corner and I heard the screen door as it bounced shut.

After that, things were different between us. I had found a friend, a true friend. Someone who didn't judge me for where I came from. Someone who didn't look at my clothes and cringe, or laugh at my used sneakers from the second hand store.

She treated me like I was just another kid. She never treated me differently or pitied me even after I told her my mother had died.

Blue was just normal.

It was nice. And it was nice to be normal with her.