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Over the years, I have tried to atone for my mistakes. So many mistakes. I give to charity to help the homeless and hopeless. I pay my people more than any other. I have asked for forgiveness when I sit by the grave once a week since it happened—all the while wondering if anyone is listening or even cares. I have bared my soul sitting in the grass, staring at the headstone, hoping to reach them, wherever they are.

“You alright?” Blue steps in my office.

I have to shake myself out of the memories. “Of course. I just needed some space.” I stand straight and brush my hair out of my face; the band fell out at some point. “How’s she doing?” I sit in my chair.

“Good. Harmony says she’s good. She has developed a soft spot for Serenity already.” His soft smile would have appalled me not long ago.

“She’s a good friend to have.”

“You should be aware that Harmony thinks Serenity is running from something.” He sits in front of my desk.

“Running from something or someone?” I narrow my eyes.

“Maybe both. Just be careful with her.”

“I should have put it together. The way she jumped when I offered my hand. I’ve seen it enough times with other women.” The thought of someone putting their hands on her in anger brings my own to the surface. “I will take it easy.”

“I know it’s harder for you. The nature of your beast is more possessive than ours.”

“True. If I were younger, I would not be sitting up here, mostly calm.” I chuckle. “She has no idea about our world,” I worry.

“I’m thankful we didn't have to explain it to Harmony. I don’t have any advice for you on that front. Hopefully, the universe knew what they were doing when they paired you, and she’s open-minded.”

“Fuck, I don’t know where to start. She’s nervous and skittish. How do I tell her I’m her mate and, oh yeah, a vampire.” I throw my hands up. “I fear scaring her, especially if she has come from a bad relationship.”

“Time. It’s going to take some time.”

“I guess I have plenty of that. If I don’t go crazy first.” I’ve lost touch with so many mated vampires I used to know. As much as I hate asking anyone for help or advice, I may have to reach out.

“What was the thing about construction?” Blue smirks. “I know it was bullshit.”

“When Bash was down with Serenity, Tristan may have had to tackle me to keep me up here.” I have to grin when he laughs. “Plus, I had to rough up Bash after he talked to her. I’m sure it was pretty comical. You know how possessive we are, so seeing him down there with her without me was torture.”

“Just keep in mind you will have her for life. Bash wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that for you. He fears you too much.”

“Really? He doesn’t fear me,” I deny.

“He sure as shit does. They all do.”

“So maybe they have a healthy fear. We are not like you, all-loving and sentimental,” I scoff. “I keep them in line.”

“You rule with fear.”

“You don’t understand what we are like. When we are turned, our emotions are expanded. We feel everything, all at once, times ten. We have to learn to shut them off, or we’ll go crazy. That’s why people say we are so emotionless; we have to be. Every sight, smell, and desire is distracting—we are ruled by our demons. But we do have a desire to survive at all costs. Using fear and loyalty is the best way to get results. We love being vampires, and we want to live a long life. To do that, we need others to fight with us, for us,” I explain.

“Are you going to love your mate? Can you love?” he asks, genuinely curious.

I get up and go to the bar in the corner to pour us a drink. “It will start—it already has— with possessiveness. She is meant for me. There is no question. We are similar to dragons in that way. They hoard their jewels, their possessions. To me, my mate is my jewel. I want to stash her away from everyone but me.” I hand him a drink.

“But can you love her?” he probes.

“Maybe. I’m not sure. It’s been a very long time. I don’t know if I remember how that feels.” I furrow my brow and sip my drink. “I hope to.”

“Think about it. Serenity deserves love. You deserve it,” Blue says softly.

I glare at him. “Don’t say shit like that. It makes me think you like me. We have a good thing going with our insults, don’t ruin it.”

“Right, sorry. Won’t happen again.” He bites his lip and hides his smile behind his glass.