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But by the time she’d left the sandwich place and strolled to a nearby bench to enjoy lunch in peace and quiet, she couldn’t hold out any longer. She slipped her phone from her pocket and then felt a huge grin spread across her face.
Jay had already replied.
Dear Ms. Davenport,
I assure you that you will miss me. I also assure you that I will miss you. Very, very much.
With loving regards,
Julius (Jay) Malone
A series of tiny shivers shimmied across Erin’s entire body. She couldn’t believe how sexy these semiformal, ridiculous notes felt.With loving regards? That was a million steps higher thanfondest regards, which was how he’d signed the previous note.
She sighed and bit into her sandwich, which oozed happily with fragrant herbed oil and cheese. She was torn about Jay’s trip to LA. On the one hand, she wished she could spend every second with him (in his bed for the bulk of it, thank you very much), but on the other hand, it wasn’t so bad that he’d gone away for a few days. She needed to sort out her feelings, which were still jumbled.
She couldn’t be in love with Jay Malone, could she? Sure, the sex was off the charts and he’d surprised her by not being brash and pushy in bed, but instead giving and looking after her needs. But now that she’d had the best sex of her life, she wanted more. So much more.
But what was there beyond that for the two of them? Could he possibly be good for her? And what was she going to do when he got tired of the girl next door and wanted to go back to his hot and glamorous models?
Besides, he still didn’t know about her past run-in with a bad man, a past that had hovered over her like a dark cloud since college. Maybe Mila was right and she should tell him. After all, he’d told her his own dark secrets. It suddenly didn’t seem right that she hadn’t done the same thing for him, because whether or not they became a couple, they were definitely already friends. In order to be a true friend to him, and to have any possibility of a lasting partnership, she needed to come clean about her own demons.
Even telling Mila, putting what had happened out in the open instead of tucked away in some shamed part of her, had made her look at that awful relationship with the eyes of an adult. She felt a lot more forgiving toward her nineteen-year-old self, who had been so innocent, so trusting. The downside of coming from a family like the Davenports, if there could be one, was in believing that people were good and a man and woman wouldn’t become intimate if they didn’t truly care about each other. But luckily, she had big brothers who had let her know that it was a tough world out there, and they’d made sure to teach her some pretty useful self-defense skills. Still, deep down, she’d always believed that she’d brought that horrible near miss on herself. And the awful things that guy had said about her in private and in public had suggested that he’d believed it too—that she was at fault for leading him on.
She shook her head and tried to clear those awful memories from her mind. She was older now, much wiser, and sitting on a bench in the world’s most beautiful town with her favorite sandwich. And an email inbox containing sexy notes that made her feel like a character in a Jane Austen novel.
Chapter Twenty-Six
On Saturday morning there was a family breakfast at the Davenport house. Erin was glad to be immersed in her crazy family. It stopped her from missing Jay, for one thing, and it was always nice to catch up with everybody over a plate of steaming pancakes and a glass of fresh orange juice.
The house was full of noise, each sibling talking over the other, except Erin, of course, who was listening to Archer and Herschel bonding over the movie they were planning about Hersch’s life. She remembered how that whole deal had gone down—Jay adamant that the astronaut’s life would make a gripping as well as moving film, Mila cross at Jay’s insistence. Now that she knew him a little better, Erin could see why Jay had been like a dog with a bone trying to get Hersch on board. He had seen the man behind the astronaut’s fame, a man who had experienced something traumatic and come out on the other side—albeit with some emotional scars and bruises.
Although Jay’s story was different, there were similarities: a connection between two people who had both overcome the odds, but buried their stories deep, deep down until—and she realized this now for the first time—a Davenport woman had come along and they’d confessed their darkest secrets. Of course, Erin could imagine how annoyingly certain Jay had been while pitching to Hersch. It was understandable that Mila had felt protective and been defensive on his behalf.
But ultimately Jay had been right. He had good instincts. And that made Erin feel a lot better about the fact that she was falling in love with him.
While Mila and Erin set the table, Arch was frying bacon and Hersch had been tasked with making toast.
Mila said, “Can you believe those two are BFFs now? They all played poker last night at Archer’s house, you know.”
“Really?” Erin tried to sound surprised, even though she’d overheard Arch inviting Jay. Presumably, he’d had to cancel, since he was still in LA. She missed Jay. Were they just going to be friends with benefits? Or could there be something more? The one thing she knew for sure was that the air didn’t spark as much for her when he wasn’t around. Nothing did.
Her mom had the radio playing softly in the background, and then the love song Damien had written for Arch and Tessa came on. Betsy raced across the kitchen to turn it up. No one was prouder of her children than she. Whether her rock-star son had created another top-selling hit, or Erin had written a particularly poignant article in the local newspaper, she was just as proud.
Damien looked a little sheepish as the song played. He was always modest about his success and favored privacy over fame. Erin had often thought that if Damien could find a way to play his guitar and write songs with no one ever knowing his name or recognizing his face, he would.
Finn suddenly said, “Listen—Did you guys know that thislovesong is one of Damien’s top-selling songs ever?”
Everyone burst out laughing, because Damien was famous for not ever writing a love song.
Dad said, “Are you going to write some more love songs, son? You clearly have a talent for it.”
Damien just shrugged and carried on slicing melon. Erin took in her brother, his head bent, intent on his task. “Maybe you have to be in love before you can,” she said.
Now Damien turned around for the first time. He looked over at her and nodded. “I think you might be right, little sis. When I watched Arch and Tessa, I felt their love, but I don’t thinkI’ve ever had that pleasure myself.” When Finn made a gagging motion, Damien backtracked. “Okay, lots ofpleasure, obviously, but I don’t believe I’ve ever beenin love.”
“You’ll know it when it happens,” Arch said, reaching out to touch Tessa. “And it’s the best feeling in the world.”
“Sure is,” Mila agreed. And then she put down her handful of butter knives and walked over to hug Herschel.