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“A-and then he got into my Street Fighter and did some invincibility hack shit! He lobby hunts in Fortnite, he’s always wall-hacking against me on my Call of Duty, and ho ho ho,” she laughs bitterly, tears spilling. “Don’t fucking get me started on amount of loot he’s stolen from me on Over-fucking-watch! OH, I’M SICK AND TIRED OF HIS BULLSHIT! I’MA FIGHT HIM! I’MA FIND HIS ASS AND SLAP THE DOG SHIT OUTTA HIM! I SWEAR! I’MA SEVER ALL HIS PRESSURE POINTS! AND RUIN HIS GAME LOG!” she growls crazily, rubbing her hands together evilly.

“Damn, I’m sorry Sky. I wish we knew who he was. Then we could roll up on him and jump his ass.” I shake my head patting hers.

“No, I’ma get his ass. Just watch! He’s messing with the right bitch!”

“Sky, are you sure we don’t need to report his stalking ass? I mean… something clearly ain’t right in the buttermilk if that nigga can hide his trace on Beyonce’s internet fromMoi! I can find everybody!” Lawanda shakes her head, sucking on her Jigglypuff lollipop.

“I know I should, but who’s gonna give a damn about a mother fucker who’s harassing someone on video games? UGGGGHHHHHHH I’M AT MY WITS’ ENDDDDD!” She throws up her hands. “I’m sick and tired of this bastard’s shit!”

“I can imagine, pooh.” I hug her and she whines until she goes still.

“B… but…. I m-might considernotbeing at my wits’ end if you have good news on that horn situation…” she stammers and I chuckle, but hold up my hands crossed in an X.

“Sorry, but Frank ass ain’t spilling the goods. He threw a tantrum when I asked him about it.”

“Damn not king dingaling being stingy!” Lawanda pouts.

“But y’all dead ass that ain’t even the half!” I bite my lip, shaking, thinking about this weekend.

“Bitch what he dooooo?! I just know that long dick mother fucker put you through the mattress something proper, huh?!” Lawanda shimmies in her seat.

“Well, you’re not wrong, but that isn’t even it either!” They look at each other and raise a brow as I bite my lip, excited.

“Y’all… he introduced a new toy!” I tell them and their eyes go wide.

“Don’t keep us in suspense!” Sky wipes her tears and I giggle. I just can’t hold it in… I tell them everything about the tail and how he fucked me with it and how that thang felt like it had a mind of its own!

I don’t hold back in the details or descriptions, or the fact that this nigga fucked me from behind with his tail while masturbating! I let it alllllll out, happily and freely.

“My God taday!” Lawanda licks her lips. “Not me wanting my man to grow a tail and a horn so I can ride them mother fuckers,” she shudders, and I cackle.

“On God, that shit felt so good! I am shook that toys like that actually exist! I tried to get more information on them from him, but,” I groan and roll my eyes. “Frank is extra as hell. But I’ma get that information, even if it’s the last thing I do!”

“I knew you was a real one, Jess!” Sky lays her head on my shoulder as we giggle like young, childish school girls.

“Oh, by the way, congratulations on winning MVP in your game! It’s going around everywhere how you scored the winning touchdown and shit. I’m so proud of you,” Wanda smiles happily, and I shrink, a bit embarrassed.

“Aww, thank you,” I smile bright.

“We really gotta celebrate you!” Sky sits up and claps her hands excitedly, and my eyes go wide.

“Wh-what no! Celebrate me?! What why?!” I ask, heart hammering.

“What do you mean, why? Because you deserve it! You out here making history and shit! You stay on these niggas neck like that damn Ice Spice chain! You need your applause, sis, and we want to give it to you!” Lawanda states casually, and I’m so blessed to have two groups of friends that are supportive.

“Thank you so much, y’all. I really would love that.” I hold back my tears and they all start planning shit while I just sit back and insert my two cents every now and again. I just enjoy their excitement for me.

As we get ready to end the club I get up and go over to the closet and pull out all of the gifts I got them from Japan.Damn! My Demon Over Lord for the win! I didn’t even realize I bought much…

Then again it cost me… I meant Frank over two hunnid each to send Bebe and Faye their packages, so yeah… I might have over done it, but when it’s not my money I’m spending it’s my man’s and he had me in there like Usher baby with no limit… I’ma for damn sho’ buy the store for meandmy frenssss, okkkuurrrt.

One rich, we all rich… one band one sound, ya dig?

Official Shonen Jump magazines, kimonos, and Tanjiro slides that hurt your toes but are super cute! I got them some of their favorite Pokémon plushies and Funkos, and some life size blankets of their favorite BL characters.

“Biiihhhhhh! No you didn’t! Not the life size BJ Alex blanketttt! Yasss Ahn Jiwon with his fine ass!” Sky hugs it and I chuckle.

“Girl, no ma’am! It’s the Junta Azumaya blanket from Dakaretai Otoko 1-i ni Odosarete Imasu for mmeeeee! Ender just gonna have to be mad at me because there ain’t no way in hell I’mnotwaking up without looking at Junta’s face…”