Page 100
"But Aunt Queen quickly cut in to express her immediate desire: that as soon as Pops' will was read, we go on to Europe. Of course Nash agreed with her that I was the perfect age for the Grand Tour, and I believed Nash when he told me that I would never quite again be as impressionable as I was now. Then he turned to Goblin, and, trying to lock eyes with something parallel to me, asked Goblin what he thought of the travel proposal.
"I took Goblin's right hand, which felt heavy and warm, but he showed me nothing but that cold profile again and he was utterly silent.
" 'Goblin, what do you think? Do you remember our trip to New York?' The question came out of my mouth before I could realize that it was a blunder. Goblin had gotten weaker and weaker in New York, until he was scarcely more than a sheer phantom.
" 'Goblin, we won't do anything that's bad for us,' I said. 'Here, look at this martini. ' I held up the glass for him. And then I took a swallow of it myself. 'Here's to you, Goblin. We're together. We're going home to the house tonight. We're through with this hospital and anybody and everybody that would have worked for our separation. ¡¯
"Of course this long speech was entirely audible to Nash and Aunt Queen, and Aunt Queen picked up the gist immediately.
" 'Come, Goblin,' said Aunt Queen, 'certainly you want to go to Europe. We'll have so much fun together. ¡¯
"Again, I tried to elicit some reaction from him, but I couldn't. He wasn't playing at eating his food or drinking his drink, and he stared at Nash as if he was the enemy.
" 'No, Goblin, he's not!' I leaned towards him. I whispered. 'He's good for us. Remember how Lynelle was good? That's how this man is. I knew it the moment he started talking to us. ¡¯
"Of course Nash and Aunt Queen could hear this, and Aunt Queen said at once: 'I'm so supremely overjoyed. Quinn, dear, don't drink that martini too fast. The wine I've chosen is excellent. ¡¯
"Goblin continued to stare forward.
" 'Never mind him for now,' I said. 'I think the hospital stay has exhausted him. Nash -- I presume you do want me to call you Nash' ('Oh, absolutely,' he replied) ' -- we've just been through a peculiar ordeal upstairs and --. ¡¯
"Before I could say more I heard Goblin's ominous monotone: 'Europe, I can't,' he said. 'Too far for me. You remember New York. You talk like a fool. Goblin Quinn one person. ¡¯
"It was clear that no one else could hear him.
" 'I know,' I replied aloud. 'I understand. All right. We'll think on it. ¡¯
" 'I once thought,' he went on in the same chilling voice, 'Europe existed in pictures and stories. Then Aunt Queen called from Europe, we saw movies of Europe, Lynelle taught you about Europe. Europe is real and far away. No going to Europe. No. Do this and we split apart. Quinn Goblin one person. ¡¯
"My anxiety was cresting. Plates of steaming food were being set down, wineglasses filled, and all the world of this restaurant saw me whispering to empty space, but I had no intention of weakening.
" 'Just listen to this man,' I said. 'Listen to Aunt Queen. It doesn't mean we have to go. ' I leaned closer to him, dropping my whispering even lower. 'I'm just humoring them, you see, I have to do it. Nash can be my teacher at Blackwood Farm. We'll be together. Goblin, look at me. ¡¯
" 'No, I don't want to look at you,' he replied. 'You are sly. ¡¯
" 'God in Heaven,' I declared in a louder voice. 'What do you want of me? I'm giving you my total loyalty. Nash, tell him that you can be my tutor at Blackwood Farm. It's possible, isn't it?¡¯
"Nash stared intently at what he thought was Goblin's face, and he wasn't very far off, as I saw it.
" 'Of course, I'd be delighted to teach Quinn at Blackwood Farm. The place is beautiful,' he said. 'Goblin, I'm new here. I want for you to approve of me. I know full well that Quinn will only accept me if you do. ¡¯
" 'Yes, that's it, that's why we're here!' I said forthrightly. 'Oh, if you could only see him,' I said to Nash. 'To me he's as solid as you. ' I reached over and took Goblin's right hand. 'I love you, Goblin. It's love between us. ' I kissed his cheek.
"I drew back, and in the small interval of silence I felt exposed in this crowded restaurant and maybe downright ridiculous. I had thought that Nash would be difficult to win over, but it was turning out to be Goblin. And I was out on a limb in this place, talking to what seemed to be nothing and no one, talking in fear because I knew what that invisible person could do and no one around me could even guess it. Not even Aunt Queen really had a guess at it.
"And then there came one of the rarest moments of my life.
"I was gazing from Nash to Aunt Queen when suddenly I noticed at the next table, behind them, a beautiful red-haired girl who was staring at me fixedly. It was as if Fr. Kevin Mayfair had been metamorphosed into his own divine sister.
"She had his same clear skin with a natural blush to the cheeks and the same rich red hair; and though she had breasts large enough to please any man, she wore ribbons on either side of her hair as if she were still something of a little girl in spirit.
"We locked eyes, the two of us, and then she looked from me to Goblin. She could see Goblin!
" 'Dull-witted Quinn,' he said to me in his icy loveless voice. 'She has been watching us from the beginning. ¡¯
"Of course. He had been staring at her, not at Nash, not at Aunt Queen; he had been staring past them at this person -- the first person I had ever known, other than me -- who seemed able to completely see him.
"The shock left me speechless. I knew Aunt Queen was asking me questions, and that Nash had just spoken up. But I made sense of nothing. And as I watched, a man who was seated beside this amazing young girl stood up and came towards us. He looked right at me as he approached.
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