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“I should go, too. Raven has been on a ‘get up early and not let mom sleep in’ kick. It’s super fun. I totally recommend all the kids.” Her tone is sarcastic as she rolls her eyes.
“Well, thank you for rushing out here.”
She comes up and hugs me. Our relationship is super strong after all we’ve been through together. I know she will always be there for me, and I will always be there for her.
“You know you can always call on me. Forever here for you, Drew.” She smiles at me. “I’ll swing by in the morning and come get her.” Phoenix grabs her keys from the counter and looks back at me one more time with a small smile. She knows how hard it is that I feel like I can’t help Raelyn. I feel powerless.
Soon, I’m standing in my kitchen alone. I run a hand down my face. I’m exhausted, and yet my mind is running a marathon.
I need to call John to see if he has gotten anywhere with her case. I need to call a therapist for her, get her to see if opening upwill help her remember things. And I need her to not be fucking scared shitless of me.
Like I said, I have a fuck ton to do.
I throw my beer bottle in the trash and head for my room. Part of me wants to walk over to hers to see if she is okay with Tristan. But I know she is, and I know that if she sees me, it may set her off again. I don’t want that for her.
So instead, I trudge up the stairs to my room. Keeping my door open at the bottom of the stairs so I can hear anything if something happens. When I get to my bed, I throw myself onto it with a huff.
I try to steady my breathing as I close my eyes. But all I can see when I close them is the terrified look on her face. I flip myself around on my back and stare up at the ceiling.
Thank God tomorrow is only a practice. I mean, Coach will still have my ass if I’m shitty, but at least it’s not a game.
I watch my ceiling fan spin above me. Unless this is going to hypnotize me to sleep, I resign myself to the fact that I will not be getting any rest tonight.
I let out a sigh.
Tomorrow will be a long fucking day.
Chapter Twenty-One
RAELYN
“How are you feeling?”Phoenix asks me as she takes a sip of her water.
“Um, still confused,” I answer honestly. “It’s all still right there. And when I woke up this morning, seeing Drew…”
“You relived it.” Phoenix frowns.
“Yeah. And I logically know it’s not true, but in that moment, in that dream, I felt it.” I look down at my hand twisting in my lap. “Asher and Drew brought up seeing a therapist today.”
“And?” Phoenix tilts her head toward me.
There is something about Phoenix that I just relax around her. Like she’s a long-lost sister or something. She is easy to talk to, and I know she’s safe. She’s mentioned that she went through trauma when she was younger, and maybe that’s why I feel comfortable around her. I know she understands my hesitation, my fear.
I even feel more comfortable with Phoenix than I did with Ronnie, and that has me very confused. Because I spent so much time with Ronnie. And I miss her. But also, she left me, and I was drugged. The whole thing confuses me. I need to locate her, but I know trying to find her will be like trying to find aneedle in a haystack. I need to know what happened. Where she disappeared to, and if she’s even okay. That’s the other worry, that she disappeared because something happened to her.
Not like I can do anything about it.
I bite my lip and let out a breath. “I don’t know. Part of me is scared out of my mind that I will open up a can of worms.”
She hums for a moment and looks out onto the field as the guys run their exercises. The sounds of the ball cracking against the bat ring out around us.
“Now, understand I am not telling you this to make you more fearful. But my therapist ended up being my stalker and rapist,” she admits to me, and all the blood leaves my face.
My eyes widen at the admission. I’m not sure what she is trying to get at with that bit of info. It definitely doesn’t make me want to talk to anyone.
“Before you freak out, hear me out,” she adds. I nod and let her continue. “I’ll give you the footnotes version. And one day I’ll tell you everything when we have time to go through it all. Honestly, sometimes I think it could be a fucking series of books with what I went through back in the day.”
She lets out a small chuckle but then steels her face.