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“Nonetheless, it’s an oath. And you know you can’t just leave the Society; that’s not how it works. You know there is only oneway out,” my father says from behind me. I can hear the smile in his voice because he knows he’s got me.
I let out a huff as my feet carry me toward the door. I need to leave before I do something I’ll completely regret. Like kill the bastard. And unfortunately, killing the bastard won’t grant me my freedom.
But he’s right. I know there is only one way to get out of my oath to the Society.
Death.
Chapter Eleven
RAELYN
“They should be over here somewhere.”Ronnie points to a parking lot area ahead of us, looking for the mobile showers.
Over the last couple of weeks, Ronnie has been teaching me the ropes of living in Las Vegas. Well, living in Las Vegas when you actually don’t have anywhere to live. How to survive on the street.
We wander the cool casinos during the day and enjoy the nightlife once it’s cooler at night. She has become my shadow, and I am grateful for it. But right now, what we need are showers. Desperately.
There are so many nights I wake up from nightmares, or during the day when out of nowhere I become nauseous and end up puking my guts up. Not to mention that I feel like I am constantly under watch. The detox side effects are slow to go away. I still have the shakes and anxiety. My nausea hasn’t lightened up at all.
She has made me more comfortable around her, so much so that I have opened up a bit more to her. I told her that I was keptby a guy, and I escaped. She knows that much. So she’s dedicated herself to being my shadow. She has vowed to keep me safe.
There are good days, and there are really, really bad days. Days when my skin feels like it’s crawling. Days when I cry and can’t seem to move from the spot we find. Where my chest feels like it is ready to burst with a single breath. Some days I can’t even think straight. My body feels numb yet ready to combust at any moment.
“There they are!” Ronnie exclaims with a smile on her face.
My thoughts halt as I break out into a smile as well, as soon as I realize I will be under some hot water and I will get to feel clean.
As we approach the mobile showers, there is a tent off to the side that a few people are lined up next to. We both approach the tent, but I walk cautiously behind Ronnie as we do.
“Hi there!” an older woman with her grey hair pulled back says as she fans herself. “Sure is hot today.”
“Yes, it is,” Ronnie agrees. “Can we get a couple of showers?”
“Absolutely. The truck there has two right next to each other that are empty. Here.” She hands us each a bag with shampoo and soap, along with a towel underneath.
“Thank you,” I say quietly.
“If you head over there, Rebecca will let you into the bathrooms. And when you’re done, there is a food pantry in the building there; you can pick out some food and water for yourselves. My name is Nancy, if you need anything.” She smiles as she points over to the showers.
Ronnie and I nod and make our way over toward the showers. And I am relieved to be getting this. A hot shower will feel amazing, letting me feel more relaxed.
“Well, that’s awesome. We can shower and fill up our backpacks with some food and water before we head out for the night.” Ronnie bumps my shoulder with hers.
“How much money do we even have for tonight?”
She shrugs. “Enough. We will have to find a few more jobs here and there, but it should get us by the rest of the weekend. Look, don’t worry. Tonight we will look cute, and guys will buy us drinks.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know how I feel about all of this. Wh-what if something happens?”
“Look, you will be fine. I will be there with you; I won’t leave you on your own. You need to have some fun, feel comfortable again in your own skin.” Ronnie looks at me with a frown. “You can’t keep just existing in fear. At some point you will have to rise above the shit hand you were dealt and take back your life.”
I bite my lip as I take in her words. It’s easier said than done. There is nothing more that I want than to take back my life, but how can I? My memory is still blank. Bits and pieces filter in, but what I see scares the living shit out of me.
How can I take back my life when I don’t even know if I want to know what that life was?
“What’s this place called again?” I ask Ronnie as we walk down Fremont Street. The crowd seems to be the usual. People are jam-packed walking around, drinks in hand, as they turn every which way to take in the scene. Phones are stretched out as they take selfies with the lights or performers behind them.
“Throttle and Thirst. Do you have the room key in your pocket?” Ronnie asks. She was able to score us a deal on a room in a crappy hotelcalled The Queen of Hearts, but it works. Twenty bucks to have a place to crash and store our things for the night; it’s better than sleeping on the street again.