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The first day, we had no callers beside Mr. Bogart and his wife and the reverend and his wife, Tani. Some of Mama's regular customers stopped by on the second day. On the third day. Mama received a call from our attorney. Mr. Derward Lee NoklebyCook. He came to see her and they talked in the living room while I kept Baby Celeste occupied up in my room. Afterward. Mama told me Dave had made arrangements for most of his estate to be transferred to Mama and Baby Celeste, with a smaller portion going to Betsy. However. Dave, afraid of giving Betsy anything until she was more responsible, had left Mama as trustee of that portion. She was to dole it out when Betsy reached the age of twenty-five. Needless to say. Mama was pleased with it all.

Later that afternoon, the sheriff's deputy arrived with a copy of the report the medical examiner was making. He had ruled Dave's death accidental, but he had placed the cause on what he called

"contradictions" between some of Mama's herbal remedies and prescription medications as well as over-the-counter drugs. The actual cause of death was described as renal failure, which led to heart failure.

A local newspaper reporter visited us the following morning to get a statement from Mama. People in what he called "the orthodox medical community" were up in arms about so-called healers like Mama who were not licensed by any respected authority and who endangered people with their herbal remedies because there was no warning about dosages and possible side effects when they were used in conjunction with prescribed drugs.

The irony of Mama accidentally causing the death of her own husband was not lost on the reporter. He tried to get her to say something more emotional, probably hoping to stimulate an argument between her and the medical community, but she only stated her regrets and her doubts that the medical examiner knew anything definite. Nevertheless, the news would undoubtedly have a negative effect on Mama's herbalremedy business. It wouldn't be long before her regulars would dwindle to barely anyone.

She wasn't terribly concer

ned or at least didn't show it if she was. Her previous inheritance and now her inheritance from Dave were enough to keep us safe and comfortable. Mr. Bogart stood by her and told her he would continue to develop distribution for her herbal remedies. He had his sources outside the community, he said, and they were not influenced or dissuaded by the uproar in the medical community, which they distrusted anyway.

Dave's funeral was small. Mama had chosen a plain pine box for his coffin, in keeping with how much importance she placed on the spirit, and how little she placed on the body, The church, practically empty, echoed with the Reverend Mr. Austin's poetic elegy. He spoke about Dave kindly, but made it sound as if he didn't die, as if he were still among us, even sitting next to me and Mama. He smiled at us and nodded at Mama, who nodded back, as if the two of them knew a great secret few of the rest of us knew.

Beside our few friends and some of the more curious, there were some of his fellow employees from the drugstore and the manager. Mr. Derward Lee Nokleby-Cook was there without his wife. They attended the burial. too. It was a cold but clear day with barely a cloud in the sky, too beautiful a day for an interment. It was actually the kind of day Dave would have enjoyed. I thought, he loved the cool, fresh, crisp air.

Afterward. Mama had these people over. People had sent some nice fruit and candy baskets and Mama prepared some food. Tani Austin and Mrs. Bogart looked after the guests and cleaned the dishes and silverware. The people who came were all taken with Baby Celeste, who won their smiles and admiration with her rather serious and grown-up demeanor. She was calling Dave Daddy by now and told them all Daddy was looking after her from heaven. She actually lifted her little face toward the ceiling and smiled as if she could see him looking down at us. It brought tears to everyone's eyes.

As I watched Mama talking to people, sometimes holding Baby Celeste, sometimes just holding her hand. I realized how she had achieved what she had wanted. Baby Celeste had a real mother and father now. People were more than willing to accept and love her. What's more, she had the sympathy of strangers. I had never been deeper down in my grave.

Whether it had been Mama's plan or the plan our spiritual family had given her, it was all coming to pass. She had provided Baby Celeste with sufficient cover and she had maintained the existence of Noble, who could never be permitted to die. If Noble's death was ever validated. Mama would die herself. I thought, Never before had I felt as trapped, as locked away, as I did that day of Dave's funeral. So much was lowered into the ground with him, especially any hope that I would be resurrected. that I would be who I was.

I had dreamed and fantasized about my eventual revelation. In my mind it was to be a secret between Dave and me, a secret he would keep until, he promised, he found a way to get Mama to accept it. I knew now just how much a fantasy that really was.

And so I didn't shed tears for Dave as much as I shed tears for myself again. I had done it so many times before, for so many different reasons.

In what did my hope lie now? Where was the new beginning Dave had promised? As I sat there thinking about all this, my front-page-of-a-newspaper face caught the attention of our visitors and mourners. They made a point of stopping to speak with me, to encourage. me.

"Dave was a fine man. I'm sure you'll miss him very much" the store manager. Mr. Cody, told me. "He talked about you often. He was quite impressed with you. Noble."

"Thank you." I said.

"If you ever want to start working, come see me.Ill have a job for you at the store."

I couldn't even begin to imagine something like that, but I thanked him anyway and promised I would go to him if I did start looking for work off the farm.

Eventually. they all left and we were as alone as we were before Dave had come into our lives. Now it was almost as if that had all been a dream. In the weeks that followed. Mama donated all of his clothes, shoes, and hats to the local thrift shop. which gave its proceeds to charities. The darkness I had felt around us before Dave had come sweeping into our lives with his laughter and plans for our new future gradually returned. I could look out the window and practically see it seeping in our direction like a river of ink.

The only bright spot in our world now was Baby Celeste, Dave's death, the morbidity that followed on its heels, the funeral, none of it appeared to touch her as it touched me. Nothing gloomy could take hold of her. Her eyes continued to be cheerful, her smile soft and loving, and her little laugh and voice like the laugh and the voice of a cherub.

Mama was right about her after all, I thought. She is everything now. We are here for her and for what she is destined to do.

Weeks wove into months. I plodded with heavy footsteps about the farm, tending my chores, working hard to deliberately exhaust myself so I would sleep better at night. Mama, on the other hand, was as cheerful as ever, making her wonderful dinners, continuing Baby Celeste's early education, and playing her piano and singing as if Dave were still here, sitting beside us, listening and smiling with a face frill of love.

Maybe he was. I thought, but not with any real confidence.

I watched time pass, and I waited like someone who knew deep in her heart that she had little or no control of what tomorrow would bring.

16

Betsy Comes Back

.

It was late spring, only a few short degrees of

rising temperature left before it would feel more like summer. Despite the loss of our local customers. Mama wanted to develop an even bigger herbal garden, perhaps to show her defiance. Mr. Bogart was more determined than ever to reinforce what he thought was her good work and answer her critics. He did find her more outlets. I didn't mind the added work: I still welcomed the distraction.