Page 102

I couldn't see his smile of satisfaction as much as I could feel it.

The wind stirred around the house and was then reinforced with a gust from the north. He shrank and slipped through the window to ride it and go off into the darkness, leaving me behind to ponder the meaning of his words.

In the morning Betsy put on the skirt and the blouse that was the least distasteful to her.

Some time during the night, she had stopped crying and feeling sorry for herself. I could see a hardness in her face. She was determined not to give Mama the

satisfaction of knowing how deeply she had been wounded. More than that though, she had other purposes. She stepped up beside me and whispered in my ear:

"I know exactly what's going on here, Noble. Your mother wants me to get hysterical and run off. That way she never has to give me any of my money. But it's not going to happen," she vowed, and went right to her morning chores.

"I just knew those clothes would fit you well," Mama told her at breakfast. They belonged to a cousin of mine who also had a baby out of wedlock."

Betsy looked at her with her mouth slightly open, her eyes suddenly brightening with some realization, Is that why you thought they would fit?"

Of course."

Betsy glanced at me. She wore a smile that was remarkably similar to her brother Elliot's. It put a chill in my heart. I looked at Mama to see if she saw what I saw, but Mama was already humming to herself and thinking of other things.

"She's crazy for surer Betsy told me later. "I'll bring this whole thing down around her yet," she swore. "You'd better tell her to let me have my money."

Panic spread through my chest like a large caterpillar stretching into an awareness of its own existence. I could see the same sort of awareness and confidence in

Betsy's face. She began to ask Mama questions every chance she had, questions to draw out Mama's secret world.

"When I hear you talking and there's no one in the room with you, you're not really talking to yourself, are you. Sarah?" she asked Mama after dinner one night.

Mama looked as if she wasn't going to reply, but then, she smiled and said. "No. I'm not talking to myself."

"Who hears you then?"

"Those who love us. Love binds them to us."

"Do they love me. too?"

"No, not yet, but in time they might."

"What do I have to do?"

"Become a responsible, caring person," Mama said.

Betsy glanced at me, her eyes filling with satisfaction. Couldn't Mama see how she was baiting her?

"Ill try. Sarah. I really will. I'd like to be able to talk to people who aren't there."

"They are there." Mama said.

"No. I mean, who other people can't see. They talk back to you too. right?"

"Of course."

"And that's how you know so much?'

"Yes," Mama said, her eyes finally smaller. Now she sees what Betsy's doing. I thought. "And if someone mocks them or in any way abuses them, they can be severe."

"Oh. I wouldn't mock them. Who am Ito mock anybody?" She looked at Baby Celeste, "Does Baby Celeste... can she see and hear them. too?"

"Baby Celeste is very special. She sees and hears much more than any of us do or even could."