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"I have to hand it to her," she said, hearing me come in. She had her head back and her eyes closed. "This herbal bubble bath really feels good."

She sat forward and looked at me. "Well?"

"I have a check for two thousand dollars for you. You should go to the bank to cash it. If they call here. I tell them it's all right. These are the only credit cards we have, and there's about four hundred dollars in this," I said, showing her the roll of cash.

"That's a start. Good for you. You're being smart. Noble Celeste. How's the queen?"

"She's just sleeping."

"She better get well enough to make that call to the lawyer soon," she warned. "Hand me the towel."

I did so and she got out of the tub.

"You see," she said, turning toward me to show me her breasts. "Still firm. If you should ever become the woman you are, don't breast-feed."

I rushed from the bathroom, her laughter chasing after me. When I reached the stairs, I heard the piano.

"Mama?" I called.

The music was different though. I found Tad in the living room playing.

"This thing is badly out of tune,," he said. He nodded at Panther, who was sitting quietly and looking at him. "Kid likes rock and roll." He laughed and continued to play.

I went into the kitchen and cleaned up. I had no appetite whatsoever and just sipped a little coffee. Soon after. I heard Betsy come downstairs.

"We're off." she shouted from the entryway.

I stepped out and looked.

"I'll be back this afternoon. and then well do our business. You understand?" I didn't say anything.

They left and the house was quiet again. Panther called after her. I walked slowly down the hallway and looked in on him. He was standing in his playpen. Being deserted was not a new experience for him. I thought. This wasn't the first time and it would surely not be the last.

Suddenly. I felt so trapped, so enclosed, it was as if I were in a playpen myself.

I stepped outside quickly and took deep breaths of fresh air. The sky was partly overcast, but there was enough sunlight to give my dark heart some respite from the shadows that were dancing around inside me.

I looked to the woods, and suddenly I was sure I saw Daddy. He stepped out and started toward the house, but something stopped him and he was back in the woods again. I watched.

He stepped out and started toward the house. Again something stopped him and he was back in the woods.

"Daddy!" I screamed, my tears lifting over my lids and sliding over my cheeks. He started for the house but stopped and shook his head.

He was back in the woods.

He can't come here, I realized.

I looked about. Shadows were moving everywhere and stopping.

They're all locked out.

Something was terribly wrong, and until it was made right again, we were alone. We were all deserted.

20

A Dance of Death

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