Page 99

“But I do. And she is beautiful and untamed. She is sweet and infuriating. She is completely and utterly inappropriate ninety-five percent of the time and she should come with a warning. Mamas should cover their kids’ ears any time she is around, and she is definitely not safe for work.”

I move her feet off my lap and kneel on the floor next to her, smile, and graze her bottom lip with my thumb. “But she is mine and I want her back.”

Her eyes search mine for the truth in my words.

“She is mine and I love everything about her. I love her lips and the crazy words that come out of them and I especially love when she says dick.”

River snickers.

“I love that when she enters a room, she fills it with so much life that there’s no possible way I can ignore her. And I tried, girl, I tried.” I lean in until my forehead touches hers. I take a deep breath in, inhaling her scent, then I pull back a few inches so I can look her in the eyes.

“I love the way she moves as if she owns the entire world and I love that she does not give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks. She’s her own woman, and she doesn’t need anyone’s approval or permission. And I love that one day she told me ‘Not one drop of my worth depends on your acceptance of me,’ and those words reminded me that I was the only one blaming myself. That I was the only one unwilling to accept that none of the things that happened to me were in any way my fault or a reflection of my self-worth.”

She blinks and all mirth is gone from her face. Her eyes search mine.

“You made me more than I was. You made me a whole person again. You filled all my dark places with light and laugher, and you did it over and over again until there was nothing left but you inside of me. You have filled my heart and soul so completely with joy and love that I learned to forgive myself and I learned to let go of the guilt and pain I carried with me for so many years.”

“I did that?” she asks me on a whisper.

“You did more than that, River. You taught me to love and you are teaching me still.”

I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with air and River. I want her in every way possible.

“I love you, River. I’m in love with you and I think—I hope—you’re a little bit in love with me too.”