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“But you don’t ever go in it?”
He shakes his head. “No. I haven’t been inside in years. I’d have to face a lot of demons to step back into that house.”
I squeeze his hand. “You let me know when you’re ready, and I’ll be right here.”
He takes a deep breath. “That’s one of the things about you that draws me in. You’re selfless. You have so much going on, yet you’re talking to me about this old wound. You went to as many of Oscar’s football games as you could because you knew how much it meant to him. I think it’s time you let someone take care of you for a while.”
“You already do,” I say. “You saved my life...what? Twice now?”
“I want to do so much more.”
His words have me reaching out for him again. I release my seat belt and kiss him with everything I have. It’s awkward with the cupholders and gearshift between us, but we make it work. I kiss Jacob until I’m breathless and needing more. He hauls me into his lap. My ass presses the horn on the steering wheel briefly, and he grins into the kiss before moving his seat back to allow me more room. I settle over him and gulp at the bulge in his pants pressing against my thin workout attire.
I grind against him, and he freezes. After several beats, he pulls away, both of us breathe heavily. “I’m sorry,” he says. “We have to stop.”
“Not impressed with the car space?” I ask, going for humor to cover up the fact that I really don’t want to stop.
He chuckles, but a layer of tension tightens his body. He helps me sit back in the passenger seat. “Not ideal, is it?”
He licks his lips, staring out the window for a moment while I arrange myself in the passenger seat, feeling like a little kid. Maybe it’s just because I know the age difference between us, but whenever something like this happens, I feel as if he’s chastising me. Like, I’m the one coming on to him, and he has to be the one to stop it because he’s oh so mature with years and years of wisdom.
Or, I’m reading too much into this because as hot as a car fuck could be, it’s maybe not the best for our first time.
“I should applaud you for your restraint,” I say, dropping my head back to the seat.
He moves his lust-filled gaze to me. “The only thing you should applaud me for is my grip strength when I jerk myself off tonight with thoughts of you.”
Well, hot damn. I squeeze my thighs together. Okay, I’m petty. I know it, but I damn well needed to hear that.
“Johnny seems to be keeping you well satisfied anyway,” Mag says as he adjusts his seat and pulls the car away from the curb.
My cheeks bloom a deep rose color. “He should never have shared that with you.”
He shakes his head. “I signed up for this. I knew you cared for all of them when my feelings grew. You never have to apologize about what you do and who you do it with, Kyla. Never.”
Man, it’s a fucking turn on to hear that. “Thanks,” I tell him sincerely, a simmering burn spreading through my limbs. Jacob may be able to hold off screwing me, but I’m not sure I can. Well, I’m sure I can, but I’m sure I don’t fucking want to. Besides, now that Johnny’s aware of my feelings for everyone else, there’s no reason to hold back anything.
It takes us about ten minutes to get back to the tower. Magnum nods toward the security guy in the booth, but he holds his hand up to stop us from just driving straight through. “Big Daddy K wants to see Kyla as soon as she’s in.”
Mag nods and waves, but as soon as we’re away from the booth, he swears, “Fuck.” A quick check tells me the muscle in his jaw is feathering with this information.
I’m in the same hesitant boat. What the fuck? What does he want to see me for?
“I don’t like this.” He pulls into his usual parking spot and slams his hand against the wheel a couple of times.
“Maybe it’s about the fight,” I say, trying to reason this out with a level head.
“Yeah,” Mag says, voice gruff in a sound that says he’s hardly agreeing at all. He doesn’t know why I’m being summoned, but it must scare the shit out of him. He pulls his cell phone from his pocket and hits Johnny’s name. The phone rings and rings. No one answers. “You try.”
I take my phone out and do the same. It rings until it goes to voicemail, and I shrug.
Mag sighs. “Hopefully, he’s up there.”
He pushes his door open, and I follow. Apprehension floods my stomach, and it’s like I’m walking on a cruise ship as we make our way to the elevator that will take me up to the suite floor. I try to brush off the dread because this legitimately could be about anything. My fight. Brawler’s initiation tasks. Me and Johnny. Gregory?
I pull my shoulders back and plaster on my game face. It doesn’t matter what it is, we got this. If it’s something awful, well, that’s what I’ve trained for. I shake myself out on the elevator and stretch my arms.
Mag bends and pulls his pants leg up. He pulls at a strap and takes off his knife holder. “Here, put this on.”