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The first flash blinds me and I wince. “Sorry.”
“It’s cool, but try not to shut your eyes.”
I take a breath and stare into the lens. Todd snaps several shots, taking a step closer with each one. After five minutes, he swaps cameras. This one doesn’t need a flash, so I relax a little.
Staring into the lens, I’m suddenly reminded of another camera in another room down the hall and my first audition when I had to perform. Something stirs inside me—hot and urgent. I try not to fidget; the memory grows stronger.
Convince me that you’re worth fucking. Convince me you’re worth dying for.
The mechanical voice is so clear in my head, it feels like I’m back in that room again, giving myself over to commands that tap into fantasies I didn’t know I harbored until I was challenged.
“Let’s try another pose.”
I slowly sit upright, my mind still in another room, and move to the middle of the seat. I plant both feet on the floor and bring my knees together. Hands on either side of me, I slowly lower my head until my nose is pointed to the floor and waterfalls of hair gently brush my cheek. As I lift my gaze and stare into the camera another voice, another room, slides into my mind frame.
Tell me, Elly, do I look like a freak to you?
It’ll be our little secret…
Come here, Elly.
Sit.
The heat in my belly intensifies. My breath shudders in and out. My knees want to part. I fight them, fight the deeper tingling between my legs. Todd climbs the stage again, comes closer. My bare feet slide in opposite directions on the smooth wooden floor, but my knees stay glued together.
Quinn’s low, gravel-rough voice replays over and over in my head as his deeply hypnotic, soulless eyes, stare at me from the ever-advancing camera lens.
Come here, Elly.
Sit.
Elly…
Elly.
“I think that’s it for this set up. Let’s get you ready for the next one.”
My body jerks into the present. I turn away from the camera and tighten my belly against the persistent heat. The sight of sour-faced Wendy waiting just behind Todd helps dissipate the electricity sizzling through my blood.
I stand and follow her. She hands me a russet-colored lace Basque and thong and I change.
Todd directs me to the bed and again allows me to strike my own poses. The sensations return, stronger than before.
My mind whirls with more than a touch of confusion. How can I be enjoying this? How can my body be this hot when everything about what I’m doing is wrong?
Yes, I’m doing this for a blindingly simple reason—to keep myself alive and to keep Clayton from discovering the secret I hold locked in my heart. But a part of me is also enjoying the thrill of dressing up in nice lingerie, wearing makeup and playing minx with the camera. Because I know the man with the mechanical voice will see it?
Yes.
The answer slides deep into me, twists within my groin and hardens my nipples as Todd snaps away. The silk sheets tangle around my body. I let my fingers glide over it, loving the texture, wondering how it would feel warmed by two bodies instead of one. I slide my hands up, rest them on either side of my head. I know my body is on show, my nipples clear to see beneath the lace, but I don’t care. In fact, the idea makes me hotter. So much so, I feel a deep pang of regret when Todd calls a halt.
The third and final scene before the vanity mirror is simple. In a purple and black slip that barely covers my naked ass, I pick up the gold-cased lipstick, lean forward and slide the tube across my lip. Without instruction, I allow my gaze to find the lens through the mirror. The faster clicks of the camera tells me I’m doing something right, and when Todd mutters, “Fantastic!” beneath his breath, elation spikes through me.
I’m sad when he lowers his camera. For the first time, he smiles. “That was good. Really good.”
I return his smile. “Thanks.”
He hands me the gown to cover up and I see a cheeky gleam in his eyes. “You’re the kind of girl that gives people the idea that gay guys like me can be convinced to switch lanes.”