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But I let Ruby see it. I let her see it wasn’t a joke to me. To be her king is all I want. To have her as my queen is what I live for. What am I fighting for if I’m not fighting for her?
“I don’t know what it was.” She stammers, tears welling in her eyes, “I … I just… I just need to run.”
It’s what she does, but she can’t leave. So, she dashes into her bedroom and slams the door, and I disappear into mine.
After a lonely shower, I slip on clean boxer briefs and socks and fall into bed, weighed down by something I’ve never felt. It’s heavy and suffocating the breath out of me. I turn out the light and stare at the ceiling, but all I can think about is kissing Ruby, how she moaned over my lips, how I wanted so much more with her.
Minutes, maybe an hour, pass until I’m startled by a voice at my door.
“Hey, dickhead.” Ruby sounds shaky. “Are you asleep?”
“No.”
“I don’t feel good.”
Jumping up, I race to my door and yank it open to Ruby, staring up at me while she stands frozen in tiny pink shorts and a matching top covered in race cars. She’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, but the look on her face isn’t.
Her eyelids droop as she blinks back tears. “I can’t move my arms.”
Without thinking, I scoop her up. “Let’s go to the hospital.”
“I don’t want the bill.”
“I’ll pay it.” I start down the hallway.
“No, Axel. Just…” She can’t even wrap her hands around my neck. “Just lay me down with you. Put me in the recovery position, and don’t leave me.”
“Ruby, you’re having a seizure.”
“Not yet. Just… Axel, please.Listento me.”
“Okay.” I won’t stress her out. I won’t make it worse. “Come on.” I walk her back to my bed and gently lay her on her side in the center, feet away from any objects that can hurt her. I turn on the light and kneel beside her, cupping her cheek. “Ruby, are you with me?”
“Barely.”
“Should I call your sisters?”
“Don’t worry them.” Her voice falls to a whisper, “It was too much today…”
“Okay, I got you.” I nuzzle my forehead to hers. “I’m not leaving you.”
Terror engulfs me as her stare falls blank. It’s as if she’s leaving me, her entire body sagging limp, and I watch, feeling rage that I can’t do anything to help her, to bring her back and…
And…
And…
Love.
That’s what this sudden warm urge is—a need to do everything, anything for her.
“Ruby?” I crouch over her. “I’m here, baby. I got you.” I’m still holding her cheek and terrified by her blank stare, trapped in a void for seconds.
After Ruby told me about her condition, I watched dozens of videos of people with epilepsy bravely sharing their seizures, trying to spread awareness and compassion, all at the expense of their most vulnerable and sometimes dangerous moments.
But it didn’t prepare me for this.
For this warmth flooding my heart, this fear and ferocity, too.I will never leave her.Not at her weakest. Not at her strongest. It’s okay if she runs. I just need her to know I’ll chase her. I’ll catch her every time.