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“How can I regret something,” Alena sighs, “but still be glad we did it?”
“I don’t know.” The weight of it crushes me, too. “But I understand.”
“Just let me tell Loch,” she begs. “That’s it. Never my dad.No one. I promise. But I just can’t lie to my future husband. Please, Michael, I need to tell him about us.”
If someone could die from guilt and lies, I would right now. In many ways, I want to. Alena asked me to take her virginity, and she didn’t even know my real name.
She still doesn’t.
To her, I’m Michael Cummings. I’m best friends with her father, Nash Allen. He’s an accountant, I’m a lawyer, and Nash and I are so close; I’m her godfather, too.
Alena has no idea who I really am, who my family is, what we do, or how her father is family with us, too, and we do it all to protect her.
Nash was sixteen when he became a father and eighteen when he joined us. I was fourteen then, and we became best friends. I’ve known Alena for years, and all I’ve ever felt is protective over her.
So when Alena was twenty-one and cried to me on her birthday, sharing how she didn’t feel like a real woman. How boys teased her about her weight. How no one had ever kissed her or asked her out. How she was about to graduate from college, still a virgin, and she felt so powerless, ugly, and unwanted, I couldn’t fucking stand it.
Her tears were killing me.
I hugged her, but then…
She kissed my neck and sighed, “Help me.”
And in a split moment, the kind that changes lives forever, I had to decide. Make this about myself, how I felt betraying Nash, and push his daughter away, making her feel even more unloved, and breaking her fragile heart? Or make it about Alena and, for one night, make her feel safe and taken care of? Make her feel like the woman she was? Like she’s very beautiful because she is, and in some odd way, I loved her. I’ll always love her.
It wasn’t an impulse.
It was a decision.
Alena is one of our queens. Ourfirstqueen. Really, our princess. As Nash’s daughter, a king’s daughter, she was one of us, but she wasn’tmydaughter, and she deserved to be worshipped. She deserved my love and protection, and I gave it to her.
She asked me to be her first, and I did it as tenderly and carefully as I could. I went slow. I showed her how a man should always make her feel, and she was a changed woman.
Alena never pined for me. She wasn’t in love with me. But she trusted me. She needed me. She asked for me, and I answered.
After that night, it was like she was free. Alena said she felt beautiful, powerful, and she was. She didn’t cling. She didn’t look back. She didn’t even call me. Well, not all the time. Just once in a while, she’d tell me how happy she was with her new job.
Did she use me?
Sure, and we didn’t regret it.
But then we’d see each other, always with her father around, and the guilt became suffocating.
It still is.
But now, it’s worse.
Alena has no idea she’s marrying my little brother. Nash arranged it. Loch was supposed to protect our queen, acting like a stranger and her co-worker when, really, he was her secret bodyguard until he fell in love with her. Until he wanted Alena ashisqueen.
Does he know about me and Alena? No.
Did I beat the shit out of Loch to make sure he really loved her? Yes. Because he fought back for her. Nash had to pull us apart. They thought I was being a protective godfather, and I was.
So, Nash and I insisted Loch had to marry her. We wouldn’t let him break her heart, and it’s not like he will.
Loch is madly in love with Alena, and she’s madly in love with him. They’re a perfect match.
But now?