Page 58
Story: Anti-Hero
You’ll be toasty by noon.
Tony said this was too expensive to include on our registry. *link attached*
—Indy
Indy Michaels
Assistant to Asher Cotes
16
Paper crinkles as my heels bang against the bottom of the exam table.
Crinkle. Bang. Crinkle. Bang. Crinkle. Bang.A symphony of stress.
I’ve been sitting here, alone, ever since the nurse left, waiting for Dr. Bailey to come back in and confirm what two tests—not to mention a temperamental stomach, sore boobs, and no period—already told me.
I got through the invasive questions and the internalexam. And the peeing in a cup. The hard part of this visit is over with, right?
Not according to the nerves tumbling around in my stomach like clothes during a spin cycle. I’ve been stuck in a permanent state of anxiety since last weekend, walking around with this invisible weight. Cursing my shitty luck.
New York was supposed to be a fresh start after Isaac’s cheating. Job-searching the first time was miserable enough. Doing so again, this time having to explain the blip on my résumé at Kensington Consolidated? And possibly considering each company’s maternity leave policy? Feels like a really high mountain I have no desire to climb.
The door finally opens, revealing Dr. Bailey. She gives me an apologetic smile. “Hello again. Sorry for the wait.”
I push a, “No problem,” past stiff lips as she takes a seat in the swivel chair next to the exam table. My palms are so damp that they’re sticking to the paper I’m sitting on.
Dr. Bailey extracts a sheet of paper from the folder she’s holding. “The bloodwork and urine test both confirm that you’re pregnant.”
The news I was expecting, but it still feels like the air was knocked out of my lungs. I nod, blinking rapidly. I haven’t saidI’m pregnantaloud to anyone except myself, but hearing Dr. Bailey say it feels very real.
This is real.
This is happening.
The last shred of hope has shriveled up. We’re no longer discussing a hypothetical.
Dr. Bailey’s expression is sympathetic. “I take it, this pregnancy was unplanned?”
My laugh is thin and watery. “Yes.Veryunplanned.”
“Based on the date of your last period, you’re six weeks along.”
Six weeks. Based on the date of my last period.
I didn’t even know that was how due dates were calculated. I figured you just added nine months to the day you had sex.That’show unprepared I am for motherhood.
“Okay,” I whisper because I think Dr. Bailey is expecting some acknowledgment.
“That puts your due date at May 18.”
“Okay,” I repeat.
Dr. Bailey pats my knee. “I know this is all very overwhelming, Collins. If it’s any consolation, I’ve had patients who were actively trying to conceive sit here, shocked.”
That does make me feel a little better. But the primary emotion is still panic.
“Would you like to discuss different options?”
Tony said this was too expensive to include on our registry. *link attached*
—Indy
Indy Michaels
Assistant to Asher Cotes
16
Paper crinkles as my heels bang against the bottom of the exam table.
Crinkle. Bang. Crinkle. Bang. Crinkle. Bang.A symphony of stress.
I’ve been sitting here, alone, ever since the nurse left, waiting for Dr. Bailey to come back in and confirm what two tests—not to mention a temperamental stomach, sore boobs, and no period—already told me.
I got through the invasive questions and the internalexam. And the peeing in a cup. The hard part of this visit is over with, right?
Not according to the nerves tumbling around in my stomach like clothes during a spin cycle. I’ve been stuck in a permanent state of anxiety since last weekend, walking around with this invisible weight. Cursing my shitty luck.
New York was supposed to be a fresh start after Isaac’s cheating. Job-searching the first time was miserable enough. Doing so again, this time having to explain the blip on my résumé at Kensington Consolidated? And possibly considering each company’s maternity leave policy? Feels like a really high mountain I have no desire to climb.
The door finally opens, revealing Dr. Bailey. She gives me an apologetic smile. “Hello again. Sorry for the wait.”
I push a, “No problem,” past stiff lips as she takes a seat in the swivel chair next to the exam table. My palms are so damp that they’re sticking to the paper I’m sitting on.
Dr. Bailey extracts a sheet of paper from the folder she’s holding. “The bloodwork and urine test both confirm that you’re pregnant.”
The news I was expecting, but it still feels like the air was knocked out of my lungs. I nod, blinking rapidly. I haven’t saidI’m pregnantaloud to anyone except myself, but hearing Dr. Bailey say it feels very real.
This is real.
This is happening.
The last shred of hope has shriveled up. We’re no longer discussing a hypothetical.
Dr. Bailey’s expression is sympathetic. “I take it, this pregnancy was unplanned?”
My laugh is thin and watery. “Yes.Veryunplanned.”
“Based on the date of your last period, you’re six weeks along.”
Six weeks. Based on the date of my last period.
I didn’t even know that was how due dates were calculated. I figured you just added nine months to the day you had sex.That’show unprepared I am for motherhood.
“Okay,” I whisper because I think Dr. Bailey is expecting some acknowledgment.
“That puts your due date at May 18.”
“Okay,” I repeat.
Dr. Bailey pats my knee. “I know this is all very overwhelming, Collins. If it’s any consolation, I’ve had patients who were actively trying to conceive sit here, shocked.”
That does make me feel a little better. But the primary emotion is still panic.
“Would you like to discuss different options?”
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